I have returned to LA where I am back to worrying about money, as the whole brothel experiment has actually cost me money instead of made me money. Reading about different things that have been posted on BNG about my posts, including one other former fellow sex worker activist trashing me and a brothel hobbyist review board owner. I made the mistake of trying to post on another review board. Legal or not, don’t I realize that I am not a hobbyist’s girlfriend experience? I don’t do bareback blowjobs, I don’t deep french kiss, I don’t live and die for the customer satisfaction of the client in exchange for ratings, and I DEFINITELY NEVER GIVE REFUNDS. Anyway, I’ve realized that in my anger about the situation, I’ve revealed too many personal details about folks and used inflammatory words against brothels which could be easily used against our movement, which is what I have been working to change for the better. Pimps who are not abusive are offended, sex workers who have worked in brothels are offended..
But how can injustice be published in a way that holds people accountable?
I think when looking at situations that we don’t have direct experience in, we have just minimized conversation about it because we didn’t want to talk about what we didn’t know. But once I have experienced and I know what wrongdoing is being done, I speak out about it.
Do I get 15 minutes of FAME like the dickmouthed Nevada brothel board owner says? Doubt it. I get nothing. I went there to make money and experience new environments. I got the latter in ways that were worse than jail (and I’ve been to jail) and I lost money trying. Am I asking for sympathy? No, I’m asking for justice. I have re-edited my blogs to omit personal names and details and try to address some of the concerns of critics around the picture I found of the brothel from google image search, but at this moment, I don’t feel like taking my blogs down and censoring my experience which may be beneficial to someone who may be on her way to trying out the Nevada brothels and has time to read some blogs about other people’s experience. If you are set in your mind to go and do something, nobody’s blog is going to really stop you because you will probably think it’s just their opinion. This is what happened to me as I read Amanda’s blog. I was scared, but I was already committed.