That was a phrase that was repeated in those lectures at the brothel. I feel that this is also true in this movement. Sex workers trashing other sex workers when they should be supporting them. Movements that are stunted from any real progress or movement because of feelings that were so wounded and re-wounded that the leaders cannot see past a contention to allow the better of the big picture to pass. I have edited my posts and assigned some friends I trust as my editors around this information. I was angry as hell and my outlet is art and writing so excuse me if it sounds or sounded like a woman with issues, as that is what I am.
Reading and digesting what kitteninfinite wrote on BoundnotGagged. I don’t even want to blog on there anymore now. But then I just went back to see what others have said. At least someone recognized her for her insensitivity. Blogs are like that. Back and forth. Negative. Positive. Feelings change in an instant. Hateration Fest. This is the medium. but you know what, I’m not really a blogger. I’m a fake blogger. I just write when I’m stressed out and spread the word when I feel pain. This is my coping mechanism and you all are invited. If someone wants to trash me and my so called privileged way of doing and feeling then I’ll use more writing to heal from that, because I will and do heal and keep fighting. To say that Legal prostitution models are the best we can do, is a crime. To simplify my blog posts and my desire to create awareness in the sex worker movement around the violations that are occurring as brothel hating is misguided and simply divisive.
I did not go in there as a researcher, or a reporter doing an expose. I was a good intentioned sex worker seeking a way to make money. I genuinely believed that it would be a good and prosperous experience for me. I think that being an ally to girls on the inside of the current system is the best way to approach this, it is an ongoing process and it just now starting to be talked about in our activist circles because of Amanda and I’s experiences. This is a good thing. I was an ally to girls in that house, they just were not and could not be to me. Wanting to do something has caused a lot of feelings in support of and critical of what I have done and I am feeling the pressure from that, but I will not keep my mouth shut.