OUTLAW again

There is something that happens to a person’s body when they have sex with multiple partners, either consecutively or in a group situation.  This is what I LOVE about the job.  I don’t usually have orgasms, but even without my standard form of sexual satisfaction, my body still gets a charge of adrenalyn, phermones AND testosterone.  Yes, that’s right, they cum in this condom and the energy is captured by some vagina tantra goddess inside of me and converts his energy into my energy and…I wear it home, like the flags that get draped around the Olympic athletes as they round the track with their soon to be received medals in their heads!  That’s probably more poetic of a description for it, but seriously folks, you don’t even need to have an orgasm when you are whoring for the power rush like me.  It’s similar to the BDSM post-session high, but perhaps not so intense.  I guess that’s why people embark into that world because regular sex with hookers has lost its excitement..

Last night was pretty fun.  I asked him to get me off after he came.  I don’t usually try to get pleasure, because the point of my work for me, is NOT for my pleasure, and plus most of the guys I see, let’s be real, DON’T and CAN’T.  I’m not trying to waste any time teaching so, to me it is just about the money and services that I provide.  This way, I’m never disappointed.  The few times I have asked for them to please me, sometimes, believe it or not, they have said ‘no.’   I understand this as a service provider and my compliance to being there mostly or solely for clients pleasure is what I am paid to accept and execute.  Lay on your back boy and just let me take care of you…

It is often so easy and I’m showered and dressed before the end of the hour.  But, sometimes, when they are decent looking, or if there is some unique or exciting scenario, I can let loose a bit.   Since hanging out with all the different sex workers that I’ve met over the years, I’ve learned how different we can be about the work, and learned to really be fascinated by how different all of our reasons and intentions for doing the kind of work and the kind of clients that we do.  Some LOVE the sex, always cum, never cum, kiss, don’t kiss, etc.

A tongue in my asshole is always a good persuader to just enjoy the evening.  Apparently some semi-famous actors from a courthouse drama.  They didn’t disclose to me, and I’m not  disclosing to you, of course, and there’s just no way that anyone would figure anything out who they and I were and that we fucked, so there you have it.  This is why extensive screening weeds out this kind of clientele a lot of times, because they want to lie to the provider about who they really are and definitely leave no paper trail about the whole occurence.   I’m not a regular TV watcher, so much of Hollywood’s celebrities live the anonymous lives that they want, because I’m oblivious to their fame.  As I walked out of the condo complex doors, I can remember feeling the rush of the aforementioned hormone energy as I called my agency, echoes of a Lil Kim song ringing in my head.

Money is A LOT harder to come by these days.  You work twice as hard to make half as much.  I got another job doing video editing late night from a documentary film production company.  This was a real exciting stroke of luck. I’ve been needing a break from sex work, because of all the shit I’ve been through this year.  And, I’ve really been in need of MONEY.  In any way that I can make it come in!  Right now, and from past experience, I know that the work is SO hard to do when you depend on it as your main income, in tough economic times like these and when you’re trying to stay out of jail ((again)).  Right now, in LA there is a prostitute hunting serial killer that they are trying to catch.  I can’t even read the details of some of the articles, it just freaks me out and makes me soo sad.  His victims are/were Black street walkers, but I still feel like it is me that he could be after.  The stress of it all become debilitating.  Editing and logging (transcribing) video is great for me.  I am learning about documentary filmmaking, even though they are projects that I wouldn’t normally watch, they are still very professionally done and I am learning a lot just by logging and editing. This is the transition I want to make eventually anyway.  I want to produce my own sex worker documentaries for a major network.  I want to interview and host a show that allows me to travel and interview all the amazing people I meet at conferences and events.  It’s always good, to have a break from sex work when it gets too tough.  It’s good to hone and diversify the skill set, just to maintain sanity and self care.  Some people can’t or don’t have this choice though and that is when it becomes all those negative things…Some people don’t know that they have this choice.  And it’s not like quitting. It’s just about self care.

1 Response to “OUTLAW again”

  1. September 20, 2008 at 3:54 am

    “A tongue in my asshole is always a good persuader to just enjoy the evening.”

    Wiser words have never been spoken.

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