Even hot sexy people have it

I wanted to stop fucking talking about herpes in this next post, but seeing as I have it for life, I guess it will just have to keep popping up.  Literally.  I’ve only been aware that I carry the virus since May.  That was probably the shittiest birthday ever.  My lip got infected and swelled to hot dog bun size and my craptastic relationship was reaching an all time crappy high.  I went to the emergency room for an infected lip because i put HERPES ointment on my lip piercing wound.  That’s how it got infected.  Psychosomatic stress reaction.

this is my image of a generic male model quality hot guy in LA who could possibly have herpes

Herpes : Some Facts You Should Know About HSV 1-2

Herpes is a common virus that affects 1 in 4 adults. Often people don’t even know they have the virus because it doesn’t cause any symptoms. They may not have an outbreak until years after they get infected. There are two types of herpes viruses and they are called HSV 1 and HSV 2.

Under a microscope, HSV 1 and HSV 2 look essentially the same. HSV 1 is usually responsible for oral herpes and can cause sores around the mouth and on the face. HSV 2 generally causes sores on the genitals. HSV – Herpes Simplex Virus: even hot sexy people you fuck have it.

OKAY…NOW THAT WE’VE HAD THAT REVIEW.  That’s 1 out of 4 of your sexual encounters.  That’s a lot if you’re an average single sexually active person, but if you are a sex worker it’s going to be a weekly encounter likely.

Super hot hot male model quality guy calls the agency I work for and I am so happy that he is the one walking to the gate.  As a previously traumatized bisexual sex worker, I have to tell you for men to be PHYSICALLY  attractive to me on first intro, they have to just be stunning.  And stunning in a certain non threatening or unique way.  Just being a male model type or a body builder for sure won’t sway my libido.  Sometime after about age 20, I became turned off to men’s bodies for the most part and cock pictures and the idea of male strippers became repulsive to me.  I think that men’s bodies are okay nowadays. To me, a penis is no more of a turn on than a shoulder.  I like women’s boobs, i like looking at vagina (but not in the same way that some guys do) much more than I do penis.  Specifically I found, what I like about men and their masculinity is more acted out that I like.  I like submitting to a male asshole or daddy figure.  In the bedroom, I LOVE the power that men can have over me.

I love the diagonal lines that lead from the bottom of the abdomen into their pants, for instance.  THAT LINE is what you can watch as your gettng pounded and you’re grasping his neck with your legs.  I pull his body out just so I can watch those lines thrust into my body.

I LOVE a well chiseled arm with veins that pop out when the arm is flexed.  I imagine the whole arm is fucking me while his two fingers are fingerbanging my wetness.  I watch his arm and look up at his face.  I am probably screaming and telling him to fuck me harder.

My male model client, whom I’ll call Abercrombie, had those abdomen baselines.  He didn’t quite have the washboard abs like this guy, but the beauty of their faces is similar.  This was a aman who clearly did not need to pay for sex with an escort.  He tells me he is a swinger, lives in the apartment with his fiancee and she doesn’t care about his escapades with Craigslist escorts apparently and according to him is even turned on by whatever he does, because “they’re nasty like that.”

I am NOT a swinger.  I’m not a lifestyle BDSM PLAYER.  Giving free shows and exchanging sexual energy with people  I am not attracted to FOR FREE is so uninteresting and repulsive to me in theory.  But it has mostly to do with the fact that I have trauma issues.  I’ve tried to be parts of different scenes and have retreated out of parties early.  I’ve fucked a couple once in a swinger play space.  That was my one successful swinger story.  It was at a resort in Palm Springs.  I do hear that you can have lots of fun with women there, which is why I went.  There are mostly bisexual women at these types of parties and it can be a really great situation for a single girl like me.

NOw that I am reflecting on it, there have been a couple, about 2 really handsome guys that I have had the pleasure of being with through this agency in the last 3 months.  model quality.  one high on drugs and one sober.  Agency work can be good for meeting hot people.  couples especially.  Rich blonde party housewives with fake boobs.

Swingers are fond of calling themselves “D and D FREE” which means drug and disease free.  I am neither.  LOL.  But I’m still hot and I still want to fuck!  I honestly don’t believe it is POSSIBLE to be disease free if you are an active swinger for  long enough because i NEVER hear about swingers using condoms for blow jobs and dental dams and gloves for anal and cunnilingus.  NEVER right?  So how can these players say that they are disease free and how LONG will they be able to claim this if herpes infect 1 in 4 people?  It seems almost like ALL of the porn industry must have it.  They couldn’t avoid it probably.

Abercrombie is a swinger and has been for years he says.  He’s fucked 1000s of people he says.  Definitely more than me. I’m not even at 300!  (Not that I officially count anymore..I mean what is 1 person anyway? penetration?  If I count how many encounters with strange men in my industry career, I could say 1000s if we include stripclub customers).

Some guys dicks just feel amazing inside of you and others just don’t fit there.  You can’t feel them no matter what they do.  The puzzle is not congruent. The sex with Abercrombie without disappointment is great.  He’s a great fuck.  I have a nice screaming orgasm as I choke on his dick and then he pounds me until he cums.    I get high off of that energy.  I call it the “fuck rush” and it’s like imbibing their orgasm into your being and carrying it around for an hour or so.   Even if I cum first and am left with that rush in the end without having another orgasm I am still fulfiled.

You get a higher fuck rush if they can fuck you with more stamina.  It’s like a kinetic energy absorbtion I suppose.  The more energy expended on their part…the higher the high and longer lasting afterwards 🙂 All I have to do is sit back with my legs up, make lots of noise and enjoy the ride…This is why I can find some enjoyment in the sex I have with people I am absolutely not attracted to.  I still get a fuck rush when they cum inside of condom inside of me.  I like to imagine it is my the sheer magnificence of my pussy but, in truth it’s probably them doing all the hard work.

After we have our great sex, we have a nice conversation.  Abercrombie is a really nice guy, wants to connect with everyone he fucks it seems and also tells me he’s been a non sexual high class male escort for gay men.  He is a homophillic!  This is a term i made up, but it’s basically the opposite of a homophobe, but someone who attracts homosexuals, but is staunch in staying straight while flirting with gay men.  Homophillics and I usually get along and end up in bed because I like queer-ish straight guys that don’t remind me of hetero privilege and machismo.  Homophillics can usually fuck me really really well too, to compensate for their lifetime of being pursued by gay men.  Many homophillics, especially but not limited to the sex workers  often have a history of being molested by a male adult when they were kids and have learned how to manipulate the libido of other men to their advantage, similar to how female sex workers often think.

Abercrombie talks about being a swinger and being a gay man’s escort who never had sex, cuddles, kissed or even allowed his dates to breath on his neck.  For some reason, gay men paid big money for this tease.  I’m surprised that he didn’t feel pressured to go further.  I really find it hard to believe that he didn’t considering that i KNOW how aggressive men and gay men in hot pursuit in partiuclar, can be.  I have met and had sex with tons of hetero male sex workers that work with gay men in my career but I usually don’t stay in contact with them for too long for some reason.  They can also be assholes.  I think that they are closet bisexuals in denial.  Just drink some Tila Tequila and make out with a guy in front of me!  I dare you..

“If someone had an STD in the swinger community, that would get out right away.” he said.”There are like 2 types of herpes that you can have that could really fuck you up, and there are like 90 other types that you could have and no one would know.”

HE SAID THE H WORD. I look at my phone for a distractor and check the time.  I feel like bailing without disclosing.  I continue listening to him but was clearly feeling uncomfortable.  My work phone was in the car and we had gone around my agency so we could fuck and if I didn’t get back to it, they might know I evaded them.  He was telling me how he had texted his fiancee after we fucked and she said she wanted to smell the puddle I left on their bed.  Typical swingers.  Love the idea of their partner being with other people.

I asked him to walk me to my car, which is something that clients NEVER do but I needed more time to disclose and it seemed like he wanted to talk more but I had to get back to my car to get my phone for the next call.  When I get back to my car, I finally disclose that I have herpes and then he says,”well to tell you the truth, I Have it too. You take Valtrex for it and the sores go away and you’re fine.”  we talked about the stigma of herpes and how we didn’t feel that our sex lives should be destroyed because of it.  We were both guilty of non disclosure and selfishly wanting unprotected oral sex.  He got me to take off the condom while I sucked his cock and I got him to lick my clit a little in order to be convinced…

Every time I disclose to another person that I have herpes it gets easier and it goes well usually.  1 out of 2 times the other person already has it or doesn’t care.

He said I could call him again, and that he would pay me again too.  I could be his little whore again soon?  Even though, I already confessed that I would fuck him for free..

The next morning I felt a irregular tingle down there.  I dug deep inside of my vaginal walls I dug around and felt a cold sore.  DAMMIT.  When you have a cold sore you can “feel” it not just in the area that is infected but in the tissues that are near it.  It’s just like a pimple on your lip.

I usually only get a single cold sore in my gential area and the men that I’ve heard that get symptoms usually get a breakout of 5 or 6 sores all over their penis.  I’d rather have just one thanks.  Everytime I show signs or someone around has an outbreak i get kind of depressed and moody.  I am trying to manage it better now and disclosing to more and more people.  It helps meeting more and more people who already have it.  For some people a pimple on their lip is THE END OF THE WORLD.  I’m sure having herpes for those people is also the END OF THEIR SEX LIFE.  well, for me and Abercrombie; adjustments had to be made.  He says he doesn’t play for a week when he gets an outbreak.  I, on the other hand cannot take a week off of work.  I can try to avoid vaginal sex all this week and I can make an appointment to get a Valtrex prescription tomorrow, but I can’t stop working.  With agency work, because of the mandatory tipping, intercourse doesn’t usually even always happen.

I texted him and he texted me back. “I just wanted to let you know that I got a sore on the inside of my walls after we were together..”

There was no blame or shame in the messages but he was telling me that he hadn’t passed a sore to anyone to his knowlege.  I wanted him to know that he now probably had.  I personally like to make a mental log of how the virus has shown up with myself and all of my partners.

The previously blogged about 21 year old healed up and we fucked a few more times (even when his sores were still healing! Talk about nasty!)  before his dumb girlfriend finally started to make me too sick.  He had gotten her pregnant (his 3rd kid total) and she was now angrier than a Loretta Lynn song housewife that we were still fucking.  He had already given her herpes and that didn’t wake her up to start wearing condoms with him obviously.  The novelty of him was wearing off quick and he was just becoming too much trouble for too little reward.  He was broke and expected me to pick him up and drive him to my house without paying for gas last time and I just wasn’t that dick whipped anymore.  Unlike his pregnant girlfriend that he denied even being with to the very last text message with me, I just wasn’t interested in enabling his stupidity, lies and abuse of the poor girl, even though she was a crazy bitch and I really didn’t care that much about her.  I did them all a favor and told them to all fuck off.  I hoped that Abercrombie would be a better stress free booty call, who was hundred times better looking, sober and just as good of a fuck with no drama from his girlfriend.   I wouldn’t have to ignore stupid text messages about being a dirty herpes whore, working the streets, etc etc, etc.  NOT that I did anything but laugh at them, most of the time.  Abercrombies polyamorous bisexual fiancee would not only be okay with the fact that I was a whore, she KNEW and LIKED that her man was fucking me, we ALL have herpes,  and I sincerely hope that we’re all probably going to fuck each other someday very soon! 😉

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