07
Oct
16

To Whore or not to Whore (pt 1/2) 

I worked as a “full service” escort for something close to 7 years. Even though when I had my first act of paid penetration, it was consensual and I wanted to do it, much like when I was 15 during my first i intercourse, it was still definitely a shock and shift within my soul. I laid on my back frozen like a terrified virgin, even more frozen than when I was at 15. Indeed, it was like losing a second virginity.  i was 29 at the time, so I was many years beyond my first sexual intercourse encounter, but this act was huge and would mark a fairly long new stage of my life. Slowly, with each new client it became easier and easier and I started to get very comfortable with every aspect of prostitution and really enjoy the job. It was always about the job and the work for me, enjoyment of the sex was secondary and not required or expected. The thrill was the stacks of money I made and the risks I took, the thrill was in the ease of comfort that soon became a core part of my identity, one simple word that I used to design a logo for, a commonly used and often derogatory slur that I and many of my comrades in the movement reappropriated and wore proudly to conferences walking through airports, colleges and around children, enjoying the fact that we were announcing to the world that they were looking at a proud WHORE.  
Fast forward almost 4 yrs. 3 Years of Tantra training, one serious relationship and many coaches and teachers helping me to get to my higher goddess self, which for me (note: ME) was away from being the whore that I once was.  I definitely had a good run of it, Im obviously unashamed of anything or anyone Ive done, and I fought hard for whores like myself to have a proud face and strong voice in a global sex worker movement that has only gotten stronger and more diverse in the years since I moved on. People change into new identities, I say constant reinvention is healthy.  Certainly there were a few. known brands that I created, marketed and then also evolved from before I became a emblazoned “whore revolutionary.”  
One thing I prided myself on was my survivalist instincts and my hustle. I never ever saw it as a negative to make necessary money for my art, activism or basic needs to survive doing prostitution. This was, most people’s reasoning for getting involved in the work in the first place; so I aligned proudly with them every time I propositioned a guy for a paid date before he bad a chance to proposition me for a free date, especially if rent or some other need (like airfare to an activist event to fight for the cause) was immediate. I found my power in this modality because at that time I strongly identified within an oppressed womans worldview and my actions spoke loudly  and unapologetically from that place.  
As thegoddess, I dont operate from a survivalist mentality, primal instincts have been replaced by intuition and instead of living proudly in the hustle, I live in FLOW.  I no longer make quick and dirty opportunistic money, i wait patiently for right minded seekers of my services who are genuinely willing to adhere to my guidelines for safety screening and rates. I turn a lot of people who I used to attract off and I turn away many more who don’t fit my new business structure instead of adapting to a climate i felt i had no way to control. But, sometimes it gets challenging to be so patient and even though I may have moved on in life, I also know that if it came down to a true threat to a roof over my head or if I haven’t eaten for days, going back to being a survival sex worker would be nothing I would have to think too hard about doing, the difficult question is always,”Is NOW the time to start working from that place? What else is possible? How else could it work?” 

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