Suspended p1

tumblr_musx1vL9gE1qiz6eho1_500So last night, I experienced my first suspension bondage and it felt great. It was an extremely Tantric sexual energy experience. My meditation skills extremely useful, breathing in and out, releasing boundaries by being bonded, giving total trust in a safe container, endurance of any discomfort which leads to peace and flow, the feeling of weightlessness in your body and mind.  Your nose is not really itchy.  Relax.  It too will pass.   It was something like a symbolic ritual for how I feel about living in Japan. Great admiration to those who can hold this for hours or do other sexual activities during this…the Tantric part of it is that it is enough in itself. There is a distinct RISE, CLIMAX and release. Every moment is beautiful as it is. Moment to moment breathing and loving.  When you look at this photo, do you imagine how she actually feels?  Can you imagine what sensations she feels?  Everyone in the bar has their eyes on me, but I am not doing it for them.  I came to Japan to experience underground culture at its finest and all its grotesque realities.  I’ve come to a place as a goddess to an island that was just opened to outside contact not more than 165 years ago.   They cling to this  history as their reason for late adoption of certain morality.  The general age of consent is 13, however the corruption of minors laws make having sex with or marrying someone under 18 in certain areas like Tokyo illegal.  The known age of adulthood  in Japan is legally 20 for alcohol and social ceremonial recognition.  This contradiction could explain why there are legal cafes where high school girls can chat with older men with exemption and why high school girls uniforms and white panties are portrayed en masse in the anime of Japan.  I often feel like Andrea Dworkin over here watching their pixelated rape culture norm porn flicks with a scowl.  Anime and AV (Porn) are not the norm and these cafes aren’t exactly bold and open about their offerings, it is still the underbelly of sex culture, and every culture porn and media undoubtedly reflects aspects of reality.  They do usually have a high school girl outside waving to passerbys, and inside, it is not more than a what you see is what you get deal, not a “girlfriend experience” euphemism, to my knowledge but I’m sure there are exceptions.   If I watch anime on Japanese Netflix I find it hard to watch the sexualization of high school girls who are portrayed in a way that is completely opposite of the reality of what I see everyday around me in Japan.  They are portrayed with 38DD silicone like breasts popping out of their shirts and super short skirts revealing their panties with every movement.  Again, the norm of anime is not reality.  Japan’s repressed sexuality is what pervades the trains and streets.   American sexuality and contradiction will quicker reveal some actual teens all Miley Cyrus’ed out in shopping malls across America, fraught with its own repression and fantasy about adolescence, but mainstream TV and billboards could not be splashing Barely legal cartoons everywhere without protest these days.   The anime fantasy of Japan’s perverted mind looks NOTHING like what I’ve observed with any high school uniform wearing youth.  You might see a clip on hair extension or two, exposed kneecaps and calves in the dead of winter, but the girls uniform skirts are too long to reveal white panties, and most of the students aren’t even allowed to dye their hair let alone alter their uniform to have any sense of deviance, and some uniforms have built in navy outer pants to cover their underpants.   

What does this have to do with me, the 41 year old goddess of Japanese descent?  I feel like thegoddess is DEAD in Japan.  Women are no more special than men here, in fact they are less than men in all areas and not lauded for the more than half of the sky that they do hold up.  Japan was born from the SUN goddess and then Taoism and Buddhism changed religion and spirituality in Japan into a male dominated arena.  Today, the state of women and girls in Japan is ranked one of the lowest of first world nations, the majority of women quit working to raise children between the age of 25-30 while male partners support the family often working 6 days a week with unpaid overtime.  Male dominated media will take advantage of the culture’s built in silence and shame to create an environment that intimidates resistance.  Gas lighting, shame, pitting groups against one another to avoid real issues are typical.  The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.  A Black-American friend also living in Japan joked that for a woman to come to Japan to find a partner would be like him trying to go to South Africa during apartheid.  “Why do women even come here?” he laughed.   Because it’s just like the U.S.A, people of color visit and think its not going to be so bad; racism and bigotry not apparent while on vacation….


1 Response to “Suspended p1”

  1. 1 Victoria Schneider
    March 1, 2018 at 10:21 am

    Very lovely Mariko, I read your story about me very funny. Yacco is coming to San Francisco in May for 3 Days It will be nice to see her again one year later 2 years since…………..

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