Hanami Today, Gone Tomorrow…

20180325_112706_HDRAnother Hanami season has already blown into the wind to bring on the soon to come humidity and unbearable non stop summer heat of Japanese summer.  I wish spring could stay forever. I wish cherry blossoms would stay forever, but they are almost all gone. The pink feminine beauty brought me into a new euphoric state that I haven’t felt in a really long time.  I was really not that happy before this.  Each natural element has a different energetic power. Mountains are more masculine and I feel their hardness when I stand with open arms against them, embracing them and the sky in a big grateful hug. Flowers are feminine and pink happens to be my favorite color, and Cherry blossoms the well known symbol of Japanese beauty.  There is no where better in the world to see rows of pink blossoms along the rivers and ponds, in front of usually gray and dreary buildings and the endless lines of black suited businessmen and women everywhere. For about ten days, everyone in Japan is looking up and smiling endlessly as they greet the goddess of flowers and Springtime.  It is the first time in months that visible happiness is seen and felt in the people around me. I remember being sick and depressed last year and having a similar reaction to the season, but this year was more magnificent. I appreciated every bloom and blossom and longer hour of sunlight to enjoy the trees. I thanked the trees as I walked under them at nighttime.  I visited a new spot where I hadn’t been before to view them and took lovely photos with my good camera.  It was true orgasmic ecosexuality all day and all night in Japan.  

In addition to the euphoria from the cherry blossoms, at the same time blossoming, I have called into my life a lover who is hafu Japanese like me, who speaks English and Japanese fluently and is willing to speak with me, make love to me and actually go on real dates with me. I found this person on craigslist looking for exactly this: a hafu Japanese speaking lover.  I called it into my life and before my ad got flagged and taken down (apparently you can’t search for a specific race of a person? I don’t know actually why the fuck it got flagged really other than people hating) I wound up in bed with a consistent person willing to share his native tongue with me. Ha ha. Actually his native language is Portuguese because he is half Brazilian. I am not in love, but it is much much much better than anything than I have ever had in Japan in the almost two years that I have been here so that in itself is really nice.  It’s kind of like giving a starving person a Ritz or Saltine cracker (see Eddie Murphy Raw standup) but better.  Relationships aren’t always going to bring you physical lust or an exact personality match but at this point in my life I make sure they are mutually beneficially and empowering.  We each help each other to be the best version of ourselves and they are fun and rewarding.  The thing about a craigslist ad is it is a brief paragraph and a few pictures, nothing like the okcupid profile that I have up that works well in other places aside from Japan.  My current lover is not spiritual, he doesn’t really know very much about the real me yet. He doesn’t really make too much time for me and we see each other about every other week so this is why I’m really able to keep it lightweight for now.   It works well and I am grateful to get to experience Japan with someone finally.  It’s the first time I’ve actually had someone wake up in my bed or hang out at my apartment where I live alone. I get to have screaming orgasms again which is A-MAZING and soo needed. He has a small dick, but that’s okay, the sex is still good.   His tongue works well, and even though I have to work hard to get him to remain speaking to me in Japanese with it because I’m not fluent yet, he does it and I love him more for it.  This is what makes me want to love him and hang around him more and have patience when he falls short because he is supporting me in my target language goal and also speaking one of my LOVE languages, which is being in service (see 5 LOVE LANGUAGES).   He might even be the opposite of me, which makes us a good couple.   His father is Japanese but he isn’t proud of being Japanese and he doesn’t even identify as such. He wants to identify with his Brazilian half more the way I want to identify with my Japanese half. This is an interesting contrast to me. He carries my heavy luggage down the stairs when I ask, so that alone is another refreshing change from the usual Japanese male passerbys that  usually don’t think to help at all.  We have made jokes about having a baby, which is not really a joke as my 42nd birthday draws near,  I need to seriously consider how to make my procreation of a bilingual baby come true. “If I get pregnant, I’ll be really happy.” I tell him frankly and he doesn’t protest, but we also aren’t using condoms when we fuck. I know this can be problematic, but I’m throwing a 1970s attitude to the situation because times a running out!  I’m not trying to get pregnant and I’m not not trying.  (But then there’s the STD thing, I know). Also we haven’t done a safer sex elevator talk which I just haven’t done in Japan with any of the lovers I’ve had either.  The country has made me into a quieter person, nothing like the woman I was when I left. I need to tell him I have herpes and I need to go get tested with him too.  Wouldn’t want our baby to have HIV afterall!  


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