42 reasons to be grateful


2016: I arrived in Japan with these bags and my guitar, $600 in my bank account and no plan or visa.

Re-Cultural Appropriation.  I call my performance this because I’m kind of a Japanese American appropriation of both cultures.  But because you don’t know one of the cultures as well as I do, you might not understand the irony. There’s no tipping in Japan, women aren’t bad ass or assertive in the same way here, American sexy just isn’t compatible with this society’s mindset.  But then, does American sexy even work for America either?

33965481_10214156242893287_5788080597343666176_nFundraising for an oil body rub and a nice gourmet dinner with some sake. Paypal works in Japan! I’ll keep making videos til you tip me! I’m doing this alll day. 笑う。LOL. The last time I did this it was self revolutionary. #42 I’m grateful I know how to care for me. #41 I cleaned my floors today, I’m thankful for my lovely apartment. It’s unbelievable that I have an apartment in Tokyo alone that’s decent. #40 grateful for 日本語の現在レバルは一満足です。ほっこりに思う私は。I speak Japanese better and better every day. Closer to fluency…committed to it…it should take 2 more years. Maybe 1. #39 i can still read letters close without reading glasses. That over 40 eye thing has happened to me yet. #38 the best asthma medication for $50/month. #37 勇気がある。自身がある。I a an artist i need to remind myself of this today. Too much normal fucking crushing my spirit. #36 I can fundraise for my birthday by stripping and making videos!  People watch my social media. I kinda was feeling like no one ever paid attention so I stopped for months. #35 I don’t need to be with anyone, I choose only those that bring fruit and wine to the table. #34 I’m glad I powered through graduate school, because it really makes this Japan chapter of my life seem easier. #33 I”m grateful I’m finally learning so much about Japan and Japanese people. #32 I’m grateful I can still do 20 regular pushups, 50 situps and run for one hour. #31 I get paid to write #30 I am a skilled teacher with ESL Japan and phonics skills. (way more valuable than teaching high school). #29 i have a bicycle and I ride it all over Tokyo. #28 My mom speaks Japanese to me after 40 years of trying. #27 I am an incredibly creative person #26 I can still do a cartwheel #25 My best friend Carol Leigh #24 My chosen daughters Patsy and Lupe #23 my spirituality and Tantra knowledge  #22 17 years of sex work/human sexuality experience #21 ive take martial arts and can defend myself #20 i am able to pay my rent and have steady income and teaching clients. #19 I can cook more Japanese food. #18 i can sing and play guitar #17 i’ve travelled all over Japan and so many countries. #16 i am planning for future with fluency of Japanese #15 I can get into most sento and onsen in Japan with tattoos. #14 i have photography and video skills #13 My parents are still alive. #12 I can write music and paint #11 5 nieces and nephews #10 I am fearless most of the time #9 i can meditate silently for hours in a day (10 days in a row even!) #8 I do not need physical sex or to get laid (i only want it if it is right) #7 i am healthy #6 i can jump rope for 3 minutes non stop #5 nature and the beautiful trees and ocean and mountains #4 art, amazing singers, inspirations #3 sexual energy, creation  #2 Love, loving people, shamelessly wanting to love and be love and give love. #1 that I didn’t self destruct the many reckless times I could have aborted this existence. #0 that I actually make money on niteflirt not doing standard phone sex every month.


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