01
Sep
18

What Happened in Australia

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Here’s me looking hella dykey.  It was a windy wintery day by the Opera House.  I came out in Sydney as a lesbian in 1997, then very soon after knew I was bisexual not gay.

So Australia did NOT work out at all as planned.  It’s the first time that my intuition led me so far astray.  Sure, it was a sudden decision to go but every single part of me was a HELL YES, so I pulled out all the stops to make this trip happen.  It ended up putting me further in debt when all I was trying to do was make my situation better by doing what I knew best to do when I needed to make money.  I spent money that I didn’t have to try to put myself in a position where I could do some sex work or Tantra sessions. I got to experience Sydney again so nothing about this trip was bad except that I was totally off base in letting my gut decide what my fate was going to be.  It was a great culture shock to be in Sydney again after being in Japan, the land of my youthful college art school days.  Being in any English speaking country after living in Japan everyday is always a shock to my bilingual brain.  I am used to having to think in 2 languages everyday so switching to 1 is a shock to the system!  Everything that I remembered was the same but evolved and gentrified. 21 years later is a long time and I definitely could not make my way around without a Google search. I left Japan to see if I could still get the attention of men.  The kinds of men that I was attracting on okcupid were Asiaphiles. One of the fuckboys that contacted me was sort of a godsend at first, as I was out of money already because I needed to make money in my first 2 nights in town to have for the rest of the week. That’s the old sex worker plan and yeah, it’s risky but it usually works. He ended up being a total asshole.  He was trying to lure me into his Asian girl harem but he wasn’t prepared for American Japanese me who wasn’t so impressed with his superficial gestures. He gave me housing for free when I really needed it, but he ended up kicking me out with my gigantic backpack on the street without even giving me money to get to the train station without me making a big deal about it.  I was living off of credit card so even taking the bus to the station was almost impossible with my 30 kg bag. He was poorly perhaps trying to set up some threesome situations but he was a terrible facilitator. I’m not even sure what he wanted, but whatever it was, I clearly did not do it for him. He wanted to be liked instantly for doing nothing. I’m not good at that. Japanese men kind of want that too.  Courtship seems to be dead to these guys, i’m not sure if it is because they never were taught its importance or they don’t care. I was chatting with one guy from okcupid who was openly looking for hookup sex but told me,”I’m not here to impress anyone.” well, you NEED TO BE to some degree, I’m sorry, this is a mating ritual. That’s how it goes for men AND women. In order to get to the point where you no longer have to impress someone, you have to be in a relationship with them FIRST.   And even in relationships, courtship rituals should continue to keep the connection feisty and hot. My next stop for housing was at a Facebook friends home in another area of Sydney that I lived in when I was in college. Memory Lane. These friends were actually the couple in this blog post earlier that I knew were trying to fuck me. Or, at least the husband was being pretty obvious about it. They were polyamorous and swingers and that kind of energy actually kind of intimidates me unless I’m in a safe space like a play party.  I haven’t done spontaneous threesomes with a couple since I was in my 20s. It turned out that the husband was out of town and the woman was nothing but super kind and there was NO THREESOME PRESSURE whatsoever! Woohoo. AND SHE HAD A BAG OF HOUSEWEED that she offered me! Oh my heaven. I was supplied with safe housing AND medicine. That’s really all I could even ask for. The last guy actually left my bags below the stairs with 5 dollars in the pocket. He treated me like garbage in the end. It was fucked up and I was really in need of a bowl of marijuana to mellow out after that.  She didn’t even smoke herself, she just had house weed. Amazing. I spent the next 2.5 days just touring around the local spots of Sydney and enjoying being high 3 days in row. I didn’t really need much money to do what I was doing just transportation and food money. I had small talk banter with cashiers and local people and that just refilled my soul from the empty mechanical robots that live and work beside you in Tokyo everyday never talking to you. What I was missing is NOT America, what I am missing are these elements of culture that Australia also has, and Japan does not. So, in the end, it was a totally great trip.  


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