Archive for the 'caffeine' Category


Only an artist can understand the need to be alone..

I don’t write music or performances or even blogs well when I am in the presence of others.  I can facebook and twitter, but my real heartfelt outpourings are usually when it’s just me and one of the only things that keeps me feeling like I have a portal to possibility…my MacBook Pro and an internet connection.

Today I come home from doing my community service at the AIDS food bank and realize that because I haven’t paid my phone/DSL bill (which has accumulated to some $450 over the unpaid months) AT&T has cut me off.  just like that.  no methadone.  nothing.  I head to a starbucks and try my access code.  NOTHING.  I must buy a gift card.  Stat.  Now I have to register that gift card.  And then I finally get on the web and here I am.  and I had just found out how to make over more than $100 a day doing webcam masturbation shows with different people on niteflirt.  But I am new phone flirt so they have to screw up all the money that I made and hold it for 4 days and send a check that takes 2 weeks to arrive.  So I’m just waiting for the money to be deposited.  But meanwhile I am now crippled from making more money until they decide to enact the direct deposit “Express Pay” service that it says that it is.

Today I worked at the AIDS Project Los Angeles Food bank.  It was an eye opener to see the spectrum of people living with AIDS and HIV in LA.  Some you could never tell, some looked like the AIDS commercials you may have seen, and the Ryan White era that I was just blogging about, and others were elder Latina women..abuelitas who were in line for their groceries.  It was a non stop day of packing groceries, talking to people and getting to know the most basic and essential program which resulted from Ryan White Act money, I believe…Any person who says that they know that the people that they sleep with are HIV- is crazy.  When they ask me that question on my intake form I always put unknown. (Q: Have you had any partners that have been HIV+? ) How do I know the status of another person?  Or if what they say is the truth, because when you are infected with something it is easier to lie and hopefully use condoms than tell the truth… and then there is the window period.  and then there’s herpes and genital warts which almost everyone has!  It was just eye opening.  I tried to be very friendly, as I usually am, but more so today because I know how hard it is to be waiting in a government benefits line..must feel like waiting in line at traffic court, or waiting to be seen at the public hospital  “emergency” room.

I had a gig singing backup vocals for Karma this emerging R&B singer in LA.  It was a great experience but she blew me off without letting me know.  That’s LA for ya.  Oh well. You go through bands and producers in this town like underwear it sometimes it seems.

I am happily alone.  tired but broke.  It is Friday night.  I am broker than I have been in a while, but pretty much the same broke that I have been for the last year.  I finally got my boyfriend who I was supporting to move the fuck out.  I had to call his volunteer sheriff stepfather to help out.  He wouldn’t listen to me.  I felt like I was a teacher calling a parent.  “Come pick him up.  He needs to live with you guys for a while.” I said.  I had called his mom about a month before and had been talking with my therapist about it for at least 2 months (or years, it’s all blurred into one).  But I went to San Francisco, it kept getting delayed by his ignoring me and I thought that it would never happen.

I thought that it would never happen without me losing my temper and my sanity for at least a day and blowing up and breaking something like usual.  But it didn’t happen that way.  He left voluntarily and it was a bit sad but not too much, he was doing it, he finally was.  Thank you jesus.  But I don’t know if it will stay this way.  We haven’t broken up.  But he is actually giving me space and officially moving out.  (I was in danger of being evicted if my property manager ever realized he lived with me for so long..)

I have less than I have had in a while.  things are bad financially.  My property manager is breathing down my neck about paying the rent late.  But I stood up to her.  The whole state is in an economic crisis lady.  Take a raincheck.  She threatened me with a 3 day notice.  I did the same thing to my boyfriend.  Over a month ago.

“I paid your late fee last month, I’ve paid more than half for this month so you’d have a tough case.” I texted back.  I was watching him pack.  No sadness.  no anger.  no fit of rage.  just relief.  I couldn’t believe it was happening so smoothly.  This can’t be so simple.  He will find a way to snake his way back into the bed, into the house…But until then..

“to the left, to the left..everything you own in the box to the left..”


ALL NIGHT Hooker Stimulant Reviews!!

crystal meth pipe vs.


highly recommended for all night hookers who want to stay off the pipe!

highly recommended for all night hookers who want to stay off the pipe!

Lately, for some reason I have come across clients who have been partaking in smoking crystal meth and wanting services of escorts. Had a horrible experience earlier in this year that FREAKED me out and had me swear to JUST SAY NO to clients on crystal meth! (Men can usually never cum, but they keep thinking that they can so they make you go at the same speed of insanity as they are in until your arm or tongue falls off!) But I can’t ever predict what drugs these guys (and girls) are going to be on..and blanket assumptions only sometimes work.

MY HISTORY with this drug has sent me to the emergency tent at Burningman, with a needle in my neck hydrating my overdose in the desert from attempting to swallow a rock of the drug dissolved in some V8. What a bad idea that turned out to be! But I don’t think I have ever been nor ever will be soooo stimulatized.
I know you’ve seen this stage of the drug which has you sputtering verbage as you speed down the walkway with your head tilted and your eyes bugged out as you walk in circles just to see the tracers that your feet are leaving on the ground…that was me man Burningman oh one. (’01)

It was a life changer no less, and I felt that I was “saved” in some way so I did not touch the drug for almost 10 years.  I have tried it a few times since then but luckily for me I can write this and be truthful in telling you that aside from having that experience at Burningman in 01, I’ve not had any major major drug problems and I don’t have an addictive personality.  There is a lot of media money being spent on campaigns to address the meth problem in LA and I think I definitely understand its power and how it can so easily take a weak  or vulnerable person to a very very dark place that they might not be able to return to. I am starting to understand people who often get caught up in trading sex for drugs and money for drugs are often in the worst places to be taken advantage of an abused as a result of their new addictions.

The few puffs that I took to stay awake recently knocked me out useless the ENTIRE next day. I even had  to medicate a headache with advil and had no motivation to get out of the house and go exercize as usually.  Getting out of bed and commuting 20 steps to my home office was ambitious enough.

2. RED BULL ENERGY DRINK REGULAR SIZE (typically $2.50-$2.85)

Red Bull is decent because it DOES THE JOB of waking you up pretty quickly. It has too much sugar and ROCKSTARs are less sweet, but BIGGER is NOT better when it comes to cans of energy drinks for me.

It’s 5:15am and I am struggling to stay awake and motivated in the last leg red bull canof my shift…I”m not trying to drink down a gigantic can of soda when I don’t even really drink soda, before I can even go on with my work…


If you are working til the crack of dawn like I do, there aren’t going to be any Starbucks open anywhere after 11pm.  In fact, many of us might alredy know that the green corporate mermaid starts her morning swim at 5am, so for those who crave soy espresso like myself, 5am may sometimes be worth the wait.  Especially if you have to pee, because we all know that the coporation REQUIRES  all stores to have clean bathrooms, soy milk and baristas with an excessive tolerance for anal retentive and irritating customers.   But between 11pm-5am?  It’s off to the nearest gas station to get a 12oz styro cup of caffeine for about $1.09..

now you can POCKET these without even buying coffee!

4.  STOK BLACK COFFEE SHOTS Hey late night gas station patrons!  Now you can walk  into a trendy station (you know that goes beyond just flavored coffees, but perhaps has CDs and gifts)  that stocks these and

put a bunch of em in your pocket, so you never have to fall ASLEEP on the job or at the wheel again!  Unfortunately, I put 2 or 3 of these in my hot chocolate and STILL fell asleep at my incall hotel room and missed potential money! It’s a great idea, I reckon, ESPECIALLY if you are on the street and need to stay awake to hustle…perhaps an alternative for some, but I didn’t find it to be too strong…


Lastly, my FIRST CHOICE for all night sex work stimulation which goes down in a syrupy sweet caffinated couple gulps in seconds and you are really focused and ready to drive anywhere for HOURS. I didn’t find there to be a crash, but I did definitely FEEL its strength.  I like it because it is small and quick, like a shot of alcohol you can feel its effects very quickly.  I’m not a fan of how sweet Red Bull is when it isn’t a mixer with vodka so this energy shot wins the prize for me..

I”m sure if you wanted to get a high that was similar to gas station mini thins you might have dabbled in back in the day you could down 2 of these 200 mL shots of pure caffeine…This energy shot is WAYYY stronger than the 5 hour energy shot competitor, except that the 5 hour energy doesn’t have caffeine which is good, because in the long run too much caffeine is very toxic to your digestive system. I believe that it sucks nutrients out of the food that you ate, and all those bowel movements you get after drinking coffee are not neccessarily good for absorbing much needed nutrients.

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