Archive for the 'entertainment' Category

08
Feb
19

Bad Tattoos and Urban Geishas

download (2)When my mother found out that my sister and I got tattoos, she disowned us and kicked us out of her house and changed the locks.  We were both adults at that time (22 and 27) so, I suppose it was a good time for us to fly the coop anyway. This wasn’t the first time that she disowned me because of a tattoo.  I got my first Japanese tattoo at the age of 19, one of our family name. “You are not Japanese.” she said. “No one does such a stupid thing in Japan.” she said, and for the most part, she was right, if she was referring to Japan for the last 150 years anyway.  Japanese society was told to be fearful of tattooed people, making it associated with criminals and ostracized people. Japanese traditional tattooing is something coveted by both Japanese tattoo artists and foreign people/tattoos artists who seek to learn more about this art first hand or arm or leg.  Recently Ariana Grande got a Japanese word or her own version of a Japanese word tattooed on her hand. “七輪指” translates to Japanese BBQ finger. One can hardly say that phrase without laughing I’m sure. To be honest, I didn’t know what a shichirin grill was until last summer, when Japanese people started using them more often and I’d ask them how they spent their weekends. But who gets a tattoo of a foreign language without doing research or asking a native person what the meaning of the word before inking it permanently on their body?  That is just your own fault if you happen to be that haphazard, like buying a used a car without test driving it or worse.  I don’t think what Ariana did is appropriation. All people can use kanji in whatever stupid ways they choose unless it hurts others. I think actually her tattoo is a public lesson for others. It’s not appropriation so much as it is exoticism. Her song lyrics from the BBQ grill song are “Like my hair? Just bought it” and there are documentaries Abt how hair extensions are acquired through unsavory means from women of developing countries for shit prices. So she deserves the pain and mockery from her tattoo. You can’t just “want it, like it, BUY it.”  I can’t help but think of how this blog and the title of my one woman show was called “Memoirs of an Urban Geisha” and how I owned that brand for a good decade or so. I was nothing close to a geisha.  Oiran and geisha were actually trafficked into sex work and I wasn’t.  I had no real experience of past or present day life in Japan and I was just using my ancestry as authority of culture when really, I was just being as ignorant about the issue as Ariana Grande was. Having lived now over two years in Japan, I’m able to contextualize everything more.  Before Ariana there was Katy Perry on stage in her hip modern fashionable rendition of Japanese kimono and Chinese cheong sam. But the average person wouldn’t know that she is conflating Chinese and Japanese dresses and that her song and that she is bowing in the Thai Buddhist/Hindu style with her hands together.  I just tried to give Katy Perry a pass because “I’ve grown past this limited paradigm” but, er, the performance is still terrible because it attempts to pass as Japanese.   I learned a word recently in the wake of all of this translated to cultural plagarism.  文化の盗用 (bunka no touyou), but the reason why Japanese will hardly use it is because they don’t really understand living as a minority because in Japan, they are the dominant class and they are the ones being racist and xenophobic and ignorant if there are these similar kinds of problems in Japan, so its no surprise when they are asked what think about Katy Perry, Gwen Stefani or Ariana and they say its all “kawaii” and no problem.

 

Conflating Asian cultures under the guise of being Japanese or any one culture is problematic in a racist hegemonic media representation.  It has detrimental implications for the people who are parts of these cultures. Is Ariana’s tattoos the same thing? I dont think so. I think people are mostly laughing at her ignorance because it didn’t take too much for even non Japanese folks to deconstruct the fact that it was an unfortunate mistake whereas Katy’s dance and show seems like good ol Miss Saigon entertainment for the masses that is digestable in all of its innacurate face value.  She also is playing off the “submissive Asian female stereotype”  that I grew up battling in the 80s.  I now call it subordinate Asian female stereotype because I think submissives are willing, and Japanese aren’t submissive, they’re complacent to the power hierarchy.    Sure, I was ignorant about tattoo stigma in Japan when I got my kanji tattoos, but I didn’t grow up and I didnt’ expect to be having to face that stigma first hand at the time, mostly my ink art was meant to be viewed by people outside of Japan.  My mom and others were wrong about never being able to be accepted because of the fact I had tattoos.  (She’s readopted me and my sister) I can bathe in onsen and sento that don’t have the tattoo ban and they aren’t hard to find now with the internet.   I think it is interesting to note that Japanese people in Japan do regard most of these representations by American pop stars as cool and not offensive, but it has to be something really really touchy like say, the comfort women to get Japanese people to really get upset publically and tell you how they feel about something.  

I don’t judge other’s ignorance too harshly because, I too have been so ignorant of “my own” culture. And what I consider “my own” Japanese people do not consider me their own, so perhaps its forgiven, and I’m given the GP (gaijin pass) but I don’t see it this way (I prefer Nikkeijin and I think Nikkei need to know as much as they have time to know)… we can all do better.

31
Aug
16

Donate to the Undocumented 💘 LOVEWORKER in TOKYO DREAM FUND!! 

DONATE TO THE UNDOCUMENTED 💘 LOVEWORKER IN TOKYO DREAM FUND! CLICK HERE! 

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22
Aug
16

I was actually a FREE INDEPENDENT URBAN OIRAN not an urban geisha!!


For the years from the time that I started this blog, I branded myself for many years as the “Urban Geisha,” an “Educated Whore Revolutionary.”  I knew even then, that I was nothing near a “real geisha” but I was fascinated with the idea that part of the geishas art, aside from enticing men was to learn instruments, dances and traditional arts, including the art of conversation.  I prided myself at being the Urban artist of conversation because in honest reflection, I was never really that great at sexual acts during my escort years. Unless of course, I was attracted to the client or sometimes a client would surprise me with his abilities which didn’t match my usual “type.” This is what I liked about prostitution. It allowed me to experience people I wouldn’t usually allow in and, they had a 50/50 chance of doing me right despite the attraction factor.  The majority of time, I was really being the “2pac of prostitution (activist/musician)” character and many of my clients were urban homies, non violent criminals, drug users and other exiles of society, like I was. We would do a bunch of lines until the sunrise and I would entertain them with my art of conversation while making money. Sex was maybe 25% of the SEX work that I did.  Drug users were my favorites because of the fact that sex wasn’t so much a big part of it but keeping their lonely heart company while playing a facade was. And this was my definition of urban geisha. The other part that made me adopt the geisha moniker was because I was of Japanese heritage and I had the PASS TO CLAIM rights to my ancestry in America that the political activist community fights so hard to own and protect according to whichever heritage you can say you are part of. I HAD THIS PASS AND KIMONO CLAD KATIE PERRY DIDN’T as far as I was concerned.  But, I was no different than any other displaced descendant of a home country than the Black African American who tries to remember Africa by wearing an emblem around his neck and changing his name to something more African. The reasons we do this in racist America are evident but often our efforts fall short of accuracy.   I actually wasn’t any different than a disrespectfully appropriating Katy Perry who was just taking something she thought was exotic (and geisha are indeed RARE and Mysterious, even to Japanese today) and beautiful and creating a show around it for your pop culture entertainment and for you to be attracted to.  But when white American people do it on stage though…!!

An apprentice Maiko giving the EVIL SIDE EYE at a performance in a Kyoto tourist show copyright MPassion 2016

Now that I’ve spent some time in Japan, in actual observance and research of the true Japan and its culture I can see that many foreigners wear kimonos and the Japanese people are renting them to them for profit, but also to SHARE their culture correctly. Most Japanese would probabaly be happy and proud that Katy Perry  were wearing kimono on a big U.S award show, except maybe for the fact that she is mixing a Chinese brocade neckline and high cut waist of a cheongsam with a Japanese kimono in her outfit. Hey, shes mixing BOTH OF MY ETHNICITIES! I should steal that dress from her! Did Katy wear white face and try to imitate a geisha, or is that what the media called it (because all kimono clad women are geisha apparently)? She was actually just a white foreigner appropriating Asian fashions and aesthetic, something that can be super controversial and oversimplified on both sides of racist America.  Tourists rent kimono 100s if not 500 times on a good busy day throughout Japan as part of their sightseeing activities. Most of the kimono clad tourists in Japan these days are not even white folks, they are Chinese from China or Taiwan, but the point being that Japanese are happy to share and teach their kimono NOT their geisha customs.  There are dressers in tourist shops who help foreigners put kimono on and they style all the accessories so the foreigner doesn’t fuck it up. It’s not a cheap Halloween costume by any means, and its usually very authentic.  It is meant to be completely respectful sharing for tourists of Japan, as well as a profitable business to be in.

GEISHA ARE NOT PROSTITUTES and this was the biggest mistake I and other foreigners (mostly men who wish they were) make. They might get together with one wealthy client who becomes her sponsor/partner but mostly they are true entertainers, who are definitely erotic objects of desire but whose austerity around sexual partners makes her that much MORE attractive to seekers.  An Urban geisha might be similar to a true burlesque entertainer who could climb a 50 foot pole and do gymnastics tricks to entertain in a g string and feather costume but who also never really had sex with those they entertain. Certainly that was NOT what I was trying to do. i was turning TRICKS. Having quick and dirty sex for profit and I saw my HUSTLING (business street and survival savvy) also as part of MY ART.  The other part of my art came into play through writing my blog, speaking my activist truth, performing songs from the Whore Revolution.  THAT WAS ALL MY GEISHA-NESS, as I saw it then.  I only recently learned about the OIRAN, the kimono white faced entertainers that resembled the geisha in many ways except they were FLASHIER and THEY HAD SEX! Now THAT was more MARIKO PASSION for certainly. To my pleasant surprise, the Oiran traditional shoes were 8” platforms that required a male assistant to walk, which I would often recruit a random “escort” to help me not eat shit in heels on concrete. I regularly performed in 6” platforms in those days and I even had some “taka geta” (tall wooden slippers) of my own that I just threw away before I came to Japan but had owned since I was in my 20s before I even knew about Oiran (unconscious cultural memory!).  In Japan, there are regular parades celebrating the Oiran Dochu and Edo period costumes without shame around the association with prostitution because many of the Oiran and Geisha at the time were sold by poverty stricken parents who had no choice for survival. The sad truth behind these parades is that they do not reference the truth of the women who lived these lives of sexual slavery, yes I really called it that.

Real Oiran of Edo…not ideal working conditions

Movie set at Toei Kyoto studio park copyright Mpassion2016

Yoshiwara Dori Pleasure District

The Oiran lived in a gated area, and they were not allowed to leave except to view cherry blossoms once a year. The photos that I’ve seen show them behind wooden bars over the windows. Many of them died of venereal diseases and were wrapped in straw and dumped in unmarked graves at the Buddhist temple Jokan Ji. Jokanji temple has the spirits of 25,000 Edo era sex workers buried there. i have plans to visit and report on it in a future blog.  The Japanese government is known for the war crime of making Korean women into sex slaves for the Japanese soldiers, but what is also not said alongside the comfort women stories is that Karayuki San were the Japanese women who were indentured sex workers that were sent to other countries to service Japanese soldiers and other races of men overseas. I believe that karayuki san were also used for a short time to serve U.S military soldiers during their occupation in government sanctioned brothels as well. Many feminists in Korea and the U.S demanded the Japanese government apologize to the Korean comfort women, which occurred just in January of this year, 2016 but really, the Japanese should have to apologize and give reparations to the Karyukisans as well, but that would probably never happen as it was hard enough to get the apology and reparations to the Korean women. The government did actually put an end to the pleasure quarters of the Edo era, probably much in the same way that the sexual woodblock Ukiyoe prints became outlawed and banned so did the Oiran houses.  The mizu shobai, or sex industry of course never died in Japan, it just changed form.
But there is ALWAYS  MUCH BEAUTY in the darkness, darkness and light, yin and yang, just like in African slavery there were rich cultural traditions that survived and remained as a result of the struggle, oppression and captivity.  If you are not allowed to leave an area and can’t choose the amount or safety of your clients or you will be punished with death or a beat down, you are or were a sexual slave.

I owned shoes like these in my 20s!! Quickie Insta Oiran Portrait at Toiei Kyoto Park 2016

I did an Oiran portrait at a Kyoto amusement park and I was excited and am excited still about looking into getting involved in participating in the parades in April 2017 but in reading more about the truth of the lives of the women and girls I wanted to ALSO be sure not to gloss over the facts, the way the Japanese government and many people who are fans of Oiran Dochu do so often. Having lived the beautiful struggle of a FREE and INDEPENDENT URBAN OIRAN for years, you can see just by scrolling through my escort entries that my life was no parade, but it wasnt slavery, and I suffered and struggled through some of it but there was much JOY, TRIUMPHS, LESSONS AND PLEASURE TOO. Music, art, activism and community WERE the things that I loved in sex work, FUCK THE SEX.  Perhaps this was also the attitude of the Oiran and they poured their PASSION and life force into their arts in spite of it all.

What used to be the Yoshiwara Dori of the Edo Era is now Soaplands (kinda like massage parlors but soapier and mostly only for Japanese clients not foreigners). the women are free sex workers NOT and I say this too, NOT SEX SLAVES. They freely come and go to work, have families, test themselves and have safe sex so they don’t have the same UNHAPPY ENDING as the OIRAN of Edo did.

16
Feb
11

I HATE MALE STRIPPERS. PLEASE DON’T SEND ME YOUR PENIS PHOTOS.

I’m not attracted to penis photos.  Throbbing hard cock photos showing how long and hard and thick a man’s unit is? No.  I don’t know why it is, I guess it’s what it really feels like to be queer when you say, this basic thing about the opposite sex does nothing for me when I LOOK at it.

That is to say, having it pounding inside of me is a whole different story.  And sucking them, I love.  Yes, I do.  Giving a blowjob in a condom and having a man come inside my mouth in a condom is the best feeling ever.  For those very special and few men in my life, swallowing their ejaculate is a sign of love and commitment to the act in my eyes.  This is much more rare, than the condom blowjob, which I feel like I have to love in order to do it as often as I do.  Even in relationships I barely swallow.  Thus, the reason why I could never be a porn star.  My porn star friend likes the taste of cum.  You have to like aspects of your job, it’s really important if it’s the basics of the job and happens every day that you work.

I think I definitely like good looking pussy more.  I look at Jenna Jameson’s pussy for instance and I think, god, I’d love to eat her pussy…I have porn mag pages in my kitchen w/ naked women and pussy all over but since I was 19 I stopped fantasizing about penis or men’s 6 packs or their hard bodies on my wall on in my bed.  I would think it had to something with being sexually assaulted multiple times, but that started at 17 and by 19 I had already had my trust violated a number of times by men and still had these underwear photos showing guys in their 2xist underwear on my wall when I was in college.  I remember one guy commenting on them, before he broke my heart, used me for sex and gave me the hard lesson that “dating” for most college guys did not mean monogamy.  Was it all of the bad experiences that created a cognitive behavioral BLOCK?  Is it possible to make someone GAY or straight by showing them pictures of dick or pussy and seeing if there is a reaction?  Can you get the sensation of excitement back once it is gone?  If this were true then all the “Straight Washing camps” for gay kids would have worked right?

So what’s yer problem then lady? Says the obnoxious rude male stripper.

i feel nothing when i look at these guys, maybe anxiety and the desire to leave the room

I’m not attracted to male strippers.  The male ego is something that I detest.  But at the same time, perhaps it’s a love hate thing because I DO tend to get into these abusive relationships with machismo Latin guys.  So I hate this thing about them, but then I find myself drawn to it, comforted by aspects of it.  I can only think that the aspects of contrast are the things that I am most attracted to.  I like being kissed softly on my forehead when a man greets me.  I like being called sweetie by my boyfriends…

Male strippers don’t usually do those things, they’re all show, all physique all rock hard in your face thrusting, “dancing”..

So if you have someone like me who is attracted to being fucked really hard, but not physically attracted to the male physique it’s kind of a hard nut to crack on me, you see…

The male stripper troupes ala Chippendales and The Men Down Under are all showboys FULL OF EGO.  These are guys who lift weights in front of the mirror at the gym (not at home) in front of others to be SEEN worshipping themselves.  These are guys who have mirrors in their bedrooms so they can watch THEMSELVES fucking you to turn themselves on…

One of my clients turned free date (I know, I have to stop dating my clients, but I’m busy, it’s super easy, convenient and why stop when the ball is in my court?) was an EX male stripper from Seattle.  One of the best in the U.S or the state, he supposedly “invented” a certain move.  Sounds cliche, like “Blue Steel” in  Zoolander, BUT IT WAS TRUE.  He really talked this way!  He would start to go off about these credentials and I would laugh or change the subject.  He was 5’6″, total napoleon complex,  had a reseeding hairline and hadn’t stripped for a decade or more (like me) and was now focusing on being a real actor like everyone else in LA.

He paid me for sex.  This makes him a client.  He was an obnoixious asshole that crossed a line with me, which relegates him down to the title of TRICK.  (Client is a respected term).

He had just gone on a getaway trip w/ a Filipino widower to some tropical island for the weekend, where she was paying his way for his non sexual companionship to look at property that she was going to buy.  All the women he dated were Asian.  He was an Asiaphile complete w/ a colonizers mindset.  “Oh, they’re so cute, I want to just collect them all!” he said referring to my friends in a video together…WTF, are you part of the conquering  crew of Columbus or what?  Why I kept giving him more time with me was really beyond me.

He was telling me about his trip w/ Pinay Diva Heiress and we were talking about what women want in a male escort.  He was agreeing UNTIL the point where I told him that I should get him up on a panel to talk about being a male sex worker cuz lots of guys ask me how they could do what I do but for women.  At that point he started raising his voice and going off about how he was NOT a sex worker, he didn’t have sex, he was not a prostitute, not that he thought anything badly of it.  He was going to be a GREAT actor someday, blah blah blah.

“Okay, you are SHOUTING.” I said.” You need to calm down.”

I was about to go into a restaurant to eat.  He was still barking somethings as the waitress came to my table to take my order and I put the phone down to order.  Perhaps I hung it up.  Probably.  I didn’t really care to continue getting shouted at nevertheless and that was my KNEE JERK reaction to him.

This would happen in my previous relationships.  I don’t usually shout back and forth.  I hang up.  We can continue this conversation when you are calm.  Maybe I get it from my mom.  She loves to hang up on me when things get heated.  Or before they get heated.  She just loves to hang up on me.  This is why I barely called her in my adult life.

He then texts: I don’t appreciate being hung up on.  It’s rude and I don’t care for it…Please don’t call me anymore.

Wow.  I thought.  That’s how you end your “romantic” affairs with people?  That really leaves no room for growth on you, the offenders part.  Of course, he would think that I was the offensive one for hanging up on him, but it’s just a boundary that I have with men.  I don’t sit there and take abuse.  No mas.  No violencia por favor.  Solo pasion y amor.   Ironically this guy was a Spanish speaker and technically Latino although he looked white and passed as white in Hollywood and actually thought that the fact that I thought he was white was a compliment, like he “fit in.”  (Oh, I have white priviledge?  That’s a good thing, right?)

For some reason, I wasn’t thinking that I would stop talking to him that day, but since he put it that way, and asked me to not call him anymore, I thought about my last words to him.

Me: You are a trick and a whore and you know it.  And that’s why u mad at me..

Zoolander: Cause you say so? That  makes me that? I don’t fuck for money but I’m a whore, makes a lot of sense.

I was ready to just eat my tempura udon alone in peace and drop him without ANY sad thoughts.  I tried to reason it out and tell him that stripping WAS a form of sex work before he started shouting, and definitely going to an island with someone as a male companion was ALSO a form of sex work, whether or not you have penetration or intercourse makes it a more obvious form of sex work but strippers who think that they are BETTER than prostitutes because they DON’T fuck are clueless, as are those ACTORS and ACTRESSES that think that the ways in which they SELL THEMSELVES is somehow BETTER than how the average escort sells herself are also living with a false sense of superiority, thinly covered by a latex condom.  I think the last thing I heard him shouting before I hung up was,”I was one of the BEST strippers in Seattle, I’ve been a stripper wayyyy longer than you Mariko…” CLICK.  Oops.

Actually, being a whore is not an insult coming from me.  It’s an HONOR.  If I call you a TRICK on the other hand, I’m just throwing the fact that you have a COCK and you have to PAY for your pussy in case you forgot and thought you were better than “all the other guys.”

Oh men and masculinity.  What to do with it.  Capitalize on it, that’s what!  Otherwise, it would simply get the best of me I think.

I took this as a sign of success for me actually.  I won’t let guys who date me raise their voices at me for no good reason.  I hang up on those guys.   And if they want to break up with me or cut me off for their behavior then goodbye goodbye goodbye.

(I also found out in my last relationship that I won’t let men threaten to kill or hurt me, even if they are wasted or “just kidding.”  I break up with those guys immediately as well.  Premature I love yous are a form of emotional abuse.  Name calling and Verbal abuse is also not tolerated more than once, even if the words are coming from a high rolling sugar daddy giving me lots of cash…)

It’s good to know that I’m not just automatically jumping back into another pattern unaware, although I did talk to this fool for about 2 weeks…He did fuck me really good and I think that’s what I kept him around for.

He didn’t want to be called a trick or admit that we met because I was his escort once, but everything about how he wanted to interact with me was keeping himself in client status: impersonal and distant.  This is why when things ended it was super easy to not miss him.

We had never kissed.  The second time we fucked I made him cuddle me a little but it felt like such a stretch for him.   He didn’t kiss me, he didn’t want to sleep over.  Its as if he wanted to keep himself in DICK ONLY status.  It was fine for me for the time being, but wouldn’t be for long since, I am not a huge fan, as I’ve mentioned of just DICK.

I told him the next time he wanted to do that he would be REQUIRED to sleep here.

HIM: Ha.  We’ll see about that. He said.

I wasn’t kidding.  I have strict rules about free sexers treating me like I’m an escort.  Very strict rules.  There is no hitting it and quitting it without paying in my “real” life.  I need intimacy and affection, lots of it.  If you are willing to give this in all the right ways, then I will be delivering my pussy to your door, but if not, then you find me saying rude comments about how I should be charging your ass for this.

This is not a joke, this is real.  This is what I have learned in all 13 years of hustling in this game as a SEX WORKER of different occupations, stripping included.

There are women out there who will act like a prostitute for free, but not this one.

I am approaching 35 and feel so content with the knowledge I’ve gained since being that naïve girl of 19 hoping that this dude would call me, wondering why he didn’t call me, etc.

I was the “perfect” match for his ego I suppose.  I hated male strippers.  I always have.  When I was 22 for one Christmas my sisters and their boyfriends and I went to a stripclub in San Francisco, and one of their boyfriends bought me a lapdance.  God I think I was in heaven in that $20 lapdance room full of womens bodies grinding…I was a new baby stripper but also a baby dyke and this was my coming out to my family party in many ways.

I looove female strippers though, I’m allll into them.  I am physically attracted to female bodies more.  I love tits and hips and ass.  I love everything about women’s bodies, smells, softness.  I guess because when you walk up to the stage of a female stripper with a dollar she doesn’t lift you up and wrap your legs around her and start mock pounding you against the wall.  You’d think I’d really be into that since I’m into the hard pounding fuck in reality.  Technicalities of attraction are weird, I know.  I am into sexually aggressive females though, and fighter chics do turn me on and maybe if a female stripper did that same move I might be turned on, maybe not.  Female strippers don’t usually do those moves.

I’m on adultfriendfinder again looking to get laid and all these guys have profiles with their cocks.  I put that I am attracted to women too, but of course, solo women are not usually on sex sites looking for pussy, unless they have boyfriends.   Some guys don’t even include their face photos in their profiles or emails.  I ignore those automatically.  If you are the kind of guy who is going to approach me stroking your cock then you might want to try the dudes at the gay spa down the street for a reaction cuz you aint getting it from me.

I like odd physical characteristics of masculinity.  I like to watch ab muscles flex but only as I’m getting fucked really hard.  I like the pulsing of veins on an arm but only as a man finger bangs my pussy…I LIKE men. I just don’t like dick photos.  Or looking at dick. Or talking about it really…This is what distinguishes me from most of the other straight girls.  When they start talking about dick, I can’t relate.  But when I start talking about how much dick I’ve actually had, these straight girls can’t relate to me, only gay guys can, and that’s why I’m friends with more gay guys than straight girls.  This is also what makes me perfectly content being a queer.

18
Jan
11

2011 still going strong!

Do you want to know what my dreams are made of?  Singing my heart out, changing lives, breaking barriers and busting myths…..

On January 27th is the first of TWO DREAMS that I am finally realizing in the beginning of this year of the RABBIT (which technically hasn’t quite started yet but man, my luck is ON)..

I have been working on being a professional cabaret singer for about 12 years since I graduated from college (undergrad).  I thought I would be famous in my twenties, well, I kind of wasn’t famous, but NOTORIOUS.  I sang my heart out as the asianprincess on my rocking horse all around San francisco and in my retirement show from the stripclub, I was the first and probably last singing country western karaoke stripper with a gorilla that they ever had at the club.  The high point of my career was making the entire club do a STRIPCLUB WAVE!  LOL

I haven’t rivaled that type of notoriety since coming to LA to be an artist and entertainer.  Part of the reason is because I got sidetracked with a Masters Degree and starting a non profit and working endless 60 hour weeks in both positions for 4 of the 6 years that I’ve lived in LA.

But now, I”m ready!  SWOP-LA and teaching FULL TIME are part of my past and I am ready to step out in a big big way with a live live jazz band in historical Chinatown which was the originally location of some of the first Chinese American jazz bands in California during the 60s!

The band that I put together is for the new monthly fundraiser bringing awareness and some operational revenue to the organization that I founded in 2006 and never had enough money to really run correctly.  5 years later we are trying to start up again, with a new director and all new members and a plan to make this fundraiser a fun and hip way to draw in supporters and not break our backs doing work and creating community at the expense of our own sanity and souls.

You can buy tickets NOW ONLINE and secure your VIP seat next to Nina Hartley eating greasy Chow Fun noodles during the show!

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/152777

The second of my dreams being realized is my solo full length show “Modern Day Asian Sex Slavery: the musical” which I was in the midst of  planning at the beginning of 2010, everything was going great in the new year again and I was kicking ass and feeling good and then some asshole decided he would fuck with me at a massage appointment I took at my house (a rare incall appointment) which flipped my priorities into fight or flight for a year and I concentrated on training to be a Krav Maga warrior and a true whore revolutionary armed now physically as well as mentally and spiritually.

February 8th I will debut the show at Long Beach State as part of the Sex Positive Week.  I am a returning artist there, so I’m glad to be back, and I’m super glad to be supported by the clubs of LBSU and paid to perform work that I’ve been dying to get out of me.  I have a NEW DIRECTOR for the show who is a brilliant solo performer in her own right named Saria Idana, and she is responsible for getting me to produce my brilliant PERFORMANCE LOG sliding out of my head after being constipated for over a year ! LOL

Well, it’s like an artistic constipation…exactly.  Not like having a baby, like take a big shit after wanting to for a year.  I found her on accident and it fell into place because the universe determined it well.  I could not be any happier.

Mounting these two project simultaneously is crazy and overwhelming, but it’s the way that I work BEST.  CRAZY BUSY or depressed about not being busy enough.  Some people HATE this about working with me.  I know it.  What can I do. Most people learn how to control me and not hate me.  Like other sex workers in the commnity who are creative and brilliant, I am also CRAZZZZY too.  No exception, just different levels of functionality.

Singing for me is like making art.  It is a core part of my happiness and life force.  Watch the video and hope you can feel it just radiate out of my soul..I’ve been singing since i was a kid, not allowed to sing in the presence of my family and not supported as a singer by them for the most part which is why this dream has always been something I’ve been even more determined to do and stick with.

the fundraiser is coming together so nicely.  Planning ahead and delegating is so cool!  Nice work if you can get it…

08
Mar
10

This is What I’ve Become Instead…

March 3rd came and went in Los Angeles and the director that took over after me has just told me that she is stepping down from running SWOP-LA.  It’s not a huge shocker.  The organization had been in slow decline for 4 months prior to her telling me.  On March 3rd I gave it the old SWOP-LA try for a second and spent a day and a half squawking around like a chicken on fire trying to plan some awareness event in LA for this date.  And just like it felt when I was the director of SWOP-LA, I was the sole person who was breaking their necks for this cause that no one seemed to give a shit about in Los Angeles.  I KNOW that that isn’t true, but on a community organization scale, I often feel like I have failed to build a sex worker community in any way, even after trying very hard for 3 years straight.  I feel that I, as a sex worker had been accepted into certain communities but none of the members of the other spaces would ever be seen supporting anything that was solely for the sex worker rights movement.  SWOP-LA was the organization that I founded, based on the dream that I could make sex workers rights have a presence in LA.  But as the last March 3rd ended my desire to pour energy into a wide expanse of apathy like throwing a roll of toilet paper into the ocean…I remembered that I left TEACHING before I left directorship of SWOP-LA.  I left TEACHING so that I could be a SINGER and a PERFORMANCE ARTIST.  And then I got sidetracked into running SWOP-LA for 3 years. Performing on the side.  But now, finally, for the first time since before I came to LA, I am an ARTIST again.  I get to pour my time and energy (AND MONEY)  into developing new creative work and furthering my career as a singer and as a performance and even visual artist.  And THIS is what I use my Master’s Degree for.  (Even though I used it in running a non profit as well).  THIS IS WHY I DO SEX WORK.  (to sing).  (to be an artist).  I used to use a lot of my income to run SWOP-LA, or to invest in my presence at conferences and travel and such.  But now that I am without credit cards for the most part nowadays,  I’m broke a lot.  I have to take lots of risks.  I could possibly live an easier life as a high school teacher (pending background check!!)  Agency work is getting tiring.  I have a 18 year old “bodyguard” now.  I would call him my driver, but he doesn’t drive.  Even the agency is slow.  They’re telling me I owe them $750.  I’m not going to pay them.  They can sue me.  I was giving them 67% of all the show fees, but apparently I didn’t account for the fact that if the show fee is below $250 they collect 80%, and on every first show there is $10 fee collected.  (which makes your percentage NOT the unfair 67% it was to begin with, but almost 80%).  I have no plans to pay them.  I never agreed to those terms on paper so they don’t have shit.  Plus I FIGHT FOR MY SEX WORKER RIGHTS.  They don’t know this. I’m going to work until that money becomes the issue that will fire me.  My boss acts like I’m the only one she can call, and business has been bad that I’m on call 7 days a week it seems.  She doesn’t want to lose me.

I am not running a non profit.  There is nowhere in Los Angeles for sex workers to find community. LA will not become like San Francisco anytime soon.  I do not have the energy or desire to endure the mission alone.  This is what I’ve become instead…I watch this video and know that I am doing the right thing…It also reminds me of how much I can accomplish when I am single.  I am clearly evolving as an artist. This song was written and performed by me.  I have practiced with a pianist 2 hours a week since the start of 2010 and it has helped me have the confidence to totally pull off something like this with grace.  I sing a lot of Blues songs lately.  It suits my voice.  I did this song at a soul funk open mic poetry event called Indigo Lounge.  The current president of the NAACP was there and she was a minister with her other church going friends were in the house.  It was entirely fitting to sing the Billie Holiday song!  I’m sure they were totally overwhelmed inside!  The next poem I did was about EDUCATION and the one after that was about Asian families and relationships (Ms.wong)..

I look at this video and feel like I am finally going in the right direction…defriending all negative influences and unsupportive friends and lovers along the way…ONLY LOVE..my disposable income has all gone to piano rehearsals and Krav Maga training. Both of these have been the source of inspriation and happiness for me in times when I should be broken down and blue.

06
Sep
09

WHORE REVOLUTION song written 9/6/09 Mos Def/Erykah Badu show

To all my female survivalists
A gold digger is a go getter bitches
U need to make yourself feel better By dissing me

But don’t hate the ho

hate the pimp system that created me

This is a shout out to all my fellow mercenaries,
Girls gotta do what they need to do
by any means necessary
we need to rise up and stop depending on these dudes to get free
Start takin back our bodies
Even hos and bitches can be revolutionary
Cuz wouldn’t it be quite extraordinary
If I could finance my dreams without looking
for money to marry

But the reality
is that they want us to be
Their cheap ignorant, girls gone wild for free
while a few good ol boys get rich off of money we never see
hypocritically PIMPING our image and OUR sexuality

If there were a better way than hustlin and shakin your ass at the club til 3
Just to feed a dream and a little baby
If there were some way to keep this music dream alive
Without risking craigslist killers and answering calls til 5
Or manage to finance your college degree
Just to graduate and become an employee
And beg on the phone for your dignity
While the bank won’t cash your check
less u pay them all their overdraft fees
Obama already bailed them out but they still want to take from me??
I might be that poor frustrated bitch who walks into a bank and bombs everybody

Cuz the banks don’t give a fuck if you can’t eat!
And the politicians will smile in your face while you’re
homeless with AIDS, begging for money in the street
Health insurance death panels vote to kill you
and your unborn child just to save them money,
And I know the global imperialist system
won’t ever let us truly be free
And that’s why I don’t apologize
for bein a whore revolutionary

CHORUS:
Whore revolutionary
Says my body is MY property
And If I need your protection, boo
Then I’ll make sure that you see,
that you’re just the one driving the car for me
Taking back the reins of my sexuality
There ain’t no shame in this game
Mama taught me to never give it up for free
Smokin trees and traveling the world
Mariko passion: whore revolutionary

HOOK:
you don’t need a man or money to be VIP
just follow me
to the land of the whore revolutionary

You lock me up if I dare to survive and profit
some give it away for free, but i dare to make $$ off it
The system steady recycling bodies of mostly Black Jezebellas
She’s so proud to be bottom bitch, she’s her daddy cinderella
Outstanding warrant, out on bail, can’t pay the fine then take her ass to jail
and her daddy sure do love her so very much
he’ll even tell her so through the payphone in the cell
but he’ll make her do the time
and won’t even pay her bail! (well, fuck that..)

CHORUS

Let em borrow Never buy
always negotiate for the Bigger piece of the pie
Let em rent by the hour; but never rent to own
‘less you like being treated like a little girl even though you grown
Increase the police, they try to keep us down with their laws
to the whore revolutionaries, renegades and outlawz..
Hustling and doing illegal things just to get by
but we just keep keepin on, hustlin til dawn,
keep making our money and staying high




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