Posts Tagged ‘backpage


Operation Upward Mobility Down Under

DSC_0024I don’t gamble at tables, I only gamble on myself.  Something in my heart told me to go for this. Again, i took a big risk with no one’s advice.  I just read a posting on a FB group from a woman who made a lot of money here and I just felt like I needed to go and try to do that.  My attempts to do sex work in Tokyo had failed. Around my birthday, I interviewed at a strip club and at an dating agency. Both interviews were entirely in Japanese and both people never called me back.  One month later, I’m reading my Facebook notices and this woman’s report about Sydney (she worked non stop 12 hours and it was great for her) working pops up and I couldn’t get it off my brain all day. I looked at airline tickets from Tokyo and one was only $600 with a twelve hour stopover in Fiji.  This sounded like a great adventure that I really needed to take. Something told me that it would be foolish to not to do it, as there was so much YES inside of me, so much desire to just knock away any doubts or scheduling conflicts with my classes and students in Japan.  If teaching English full time in Tokyo’s working hustle bustle was supposed to be a steady income, it really wasn’t. Getting paid $2500/month and being exhausted as shit doing so was never going to get me the things that I needed in the next year. I had not had a computer for nearly a year since my last near new Mac book Pro got stolen in LA last year.  My passport and laptop were stolen and I was again in the same feeling of broke down broke-ness except in LA, I had a sponsor who helped make sure that I didn’t starve while I was working out my situation. I borrowed money to go to Seattle where the promise of working at someone’s apartment where I could also stay for free was offered by another sex worker. It worked out fabulously.  I had enough money to get a replacement rush order passport and a one way ticket back home to Tokyo. It’s been a year since I’ve had a computer that could process digital images and video, my you tube channel has since ceased and other creative projects that I had had to be put on hold until I could settle back into some income in Japan. This settling into teaching with regularity at schools and with private students took months to get to a living wage.  In the meantime, the Backpage founder was arrested, pleaded guilty and the entire website was shut down. Things were going to change for sex workers all over the world. My clients in Japan were few and far between but they were high paid and high quality. In fact, my Tantra business was doing better than it had EVER done in LA in the first year that I landed in Japan. And then since my laptop was stolen it seems like things have been consistently hard. But this is supposed to be a steady real job.  In Seattle I was doing massage and Tantra clients, still in my identity and doing what I love, sharing energy with seekers. I was living off of a menial teaching income and it even took several months for it to even reach the $2500 per month mark that it is even at now. I’ve consistently tried differently things locally, like interviewing at various places mentioned above and working on my Tantra Tokyo Love website and Facebook page to try to attract local clients on my own. I just got fed up with not having a computer and just not havig enough one day and decided that I would try again to hustle.  So now I am in my Sydney, Australia hotel room that I booked for the purposes of seeing clients, but 2nd night into it there are no clients emailing or calling at all and I get the familiar feeling of financial ruin and loss of investment, and even worse the scariness of not being able to eat or be housed while away from home. Last night, I called two massage houses looking for work. One of the women had her standard talk where she coaxes the new workers in with promises of loads of cash, food, alcohol and then when I started to tell her the details like…I’m 42. Size 10. Asian.  American. (Sorry, love you’re not suitable). And that was it. I asked her why but she didn’t really say much except, I know what my clients want. I am on a tourist visa so it is really up to who wants to take a risk on me, but it still makes me feel old, fat, ugly and washed up. This familiar broke ho feeling. I did it to myself again. Chasing the empowerment. But what was I supposed to do? My regular job was barely paying the bills and I need to move apartments in January and I don’t have a way to do that right now. Mostly I want to get into doing my art again. Making music, editing videos and editing photos are actually my livelihood NOT TEACHING ENGLISH.   If you’d like to donate to this effort where I fundraise for a new used computer and actually get a computer to do your premiums, I’m giving away a finished piece of music and/or artwork. Donations by paypal to



When Theft of Services Equals Rape and When Reframing is Better than Blaming and Going Aileen Wuornos on a Motherfucker

Amidst the #metoo incidents of Hollywood sexual violence I am working as a Love goddess in Seattle, doing my best to fundraise some lost income and property that got stolen out of a car in Los Angeles because I was negligent. It’s my third time to work as a Tantra practitioner in Seattle, every time I have come, it’s been a great, profitable and life changing experience. And again it did not fail me. I was fortunate enough to see more clients in two weeks than I had the opportunity to see in Japan all year since, in Japan, I don’t get to have the same type of business model as I used to when I worked in the U.S so it is always a great opportunity to brush up my skills and work on lots of new seekers bodies. I’ve been working as a professional goddess for over four years now, evolved and inclusive of the seventeen years of total work history in the field of sexuality. 7 of these years I was an escort and a self proclaimed whore revolutionary sex worker activist. In the seven years that I worked, fought, spoke for and rallied with fellow sex workers I became immersed in the ideology and framework of the movement and it became the passion that woke me up in the morning and fueled me through the sometimes grueling and dangerous profession that I called my job. I have since then been extremely happy to have moved beyond all of it without entirely closing the door to how it formed me as the LOVE WORKER that writes this blog now. I tell my seekers that call my phone that Tantra is not just a catchphrase i put in my ad, and i that love is not just a euphemism for fuck or happy ending, i actually genuinely, spiritually, fully engage in LOVE MAKING and sharing with clients which usually does not include intercourse or any of the standard acronyms of prostitution that many men on Backpage might be familiar with (GFE, BBBJ, etc).  And amazing people pay me great money for it as well.  But, because of my vast history, i’m aware of what they might be referring to and can lovingly redirect them to a referral who would better serve their needs.

In order to book an appointment, I require a small deposit to show me that the seeker is serious. This time, upon suggestion from another sex worker, i try to use G**gleWallet to accept my deposit. I usually require just $50 which goes towards the session and I didn’t think twice when the client wanted to send $250 instead of $50. I get an email from G**gle that says,”$250 is being deposited into your bank account.” which means to me as a business owner that I can feel safe to facilitate a paid session.

I saw him the next morning and collected the balance in cash and proceeded to create my 2 hour of magic and love. There was nothing suspicious or ingenuine about this client, we had a beautiful session, I tapped into his God energy and everything ended in a beautiful way.

Sometime in the next day, I am checking my bank balance and realizing that the money hasn’t hit and then I call the company to check and see if there is a delay for some reason. Ggle tells me that the sender can actually cancel the payment even after the email that they sent me has been sent. They tell me that this service is not a safe way to collect money from strangers off the internet and that it should only be used for friends and family (as if friends and family never rip people off).

7 years of being a vengeful, righteous whore revolutionary rose up from the fire of my root to the top of my consciousness and i remembered all the times as a sex worker that i had been ripped off and shorted by escort clients. I was mostly surprised that i was being confronted with these feelings when the way that i had constructed my life, the decisions i made, the clients that i chose and who chose me, the work that i did, the vibration was supposed to be all different now. But, I had gotten ripped off in a similar way from a Tantra coaching client in May whom i had coached for several hours too long for no promised pay received. My live work roommate in Seattle had just talked to me about a time when she was working in New York City and a similar thing had happened and she had “felt raped’ and couldn’t work the rest of her tour because she just felt extremely depressed and violated. I had just read a blog by Lily Fury explaining why she had recently created a devastating fundraising fraud upon the sex worker community all in an attempt to get a bad client blacklisted for what she felt was rape and not theft of services. “he was a client who had shortchanged me (that is, had raped me) when I was desperate after just getting out of jail.” Sex workers and women in general have righteous anger and history about rape and sexual violence not being named for what it is and not being punished equally or justly, so it seems in retaliation to the systems that have failed and ignored them, many of them seem to have started using the words theft of services and rape interchangeably. Since leaving the sex worker rights movement about two years ago to focus on spiritual sexual self growth and other community frameworks, the thing that has stood out to me most, the thing that I was also guilty of was that self determined sex workers HATE being called victims, unless it is them doing the victim name calling on their own situations. (To be cont)

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