In 2018 I spent a whole year in Japan working and living in my own apartment for the 2nd year in Meguro. In August, I decided on a whim to go to Australia with a day stop in Fiji. Second year in Japan since arrival in June 2016, 5 months in the U.S makes 2 years. I’ve set a goal to leave by May 1, 2019.
August 2018 Australia: Operation Upward Mobility Down Under. Kinda failed but it didn’t really fail if I wasn’t homeless or hurt in any way I suppose. I managed to meet “some dude” who invited me into his apartment as quick as he kicked me out. A nice reminder of my old life and all the trauma that was included in the fast paced no love hustle life. I didn’t manage to have any sex work clients but I did manage to smoke weed all week for the first time in a really long time and walk along Newtown and Bondi for the first time since I was 21 years old. When I went to Fiji, had a club full of Fijian dudes surrounding me, which is the energy that I am used to, even the energy that I THRIVE off of. I had to leave Japan to find out if i was still attractive to men. The fact that I could no longer feel that masculine polarity was scaring me so I booked a flight on a credit card and went to Sydney to try to make that money. But. I had ZERO clients, but perhaps it was fate. In my heart, I know that I don’t really want to do prostitution any longer. But it was an experiment to see if I COULD do it again. This was a trip to prove that I was still attractive, and despite sex work not working out, I still left feeling good about myself with enough information to know that Japan was the environment that was killing my vibe. In my mind, I can, especially when there is a survival urgency. I charged the entire trip on my credit card because that was how bad I wanted to change my life. Did I change my life? Not in the way that I wanted, but I did accomplish finding out if I still “had it” even though I actually didn’t date successfully for free or for cash, but I did realize the finer things in life don’t include sex work or money. (free art, beaches, weed and nice people). I also found out that cashiers talking to strangers was not just an American thing, it was just not a Japanese thing. I miss small talk. I suppose it makes me feel like I am alive.
I still get lost in Shinjuku station. I just found out that the Oedo and Keio lines are the same color (dark pink). But once I figure it out, I figure it out. I’m proud of the fact that I was able to reconcile my attendance at my Friday Shinjuku class even though I was so late on the first day of class that I had to just go home because I couldn’t find it the school that I’d been to twice before. My phone bill wasn’t paid on time so the GPS and use of the data was non functional, i couldn’t look up the map or the address from the email. I’ve since made it to the class on time every time since and I’m happy that these students love me. I’m proud of the fact that I am loved by most of my students.
I’m proud of my Nursery School teaching job. The students are so loveable. I wouldn’t be able to do this job without being able to speak Japanese well enough to communicate to the staff. I researched Japanese nursery rhymes to translate to ESL. It is really hard to teach a foreign language to kids who can barely speak their own native language nor read or write.
I’m proud that I got to snowbord twice already in 2018. I’ll be happy if I go up there just once or twice more since in 2017 I was only able to go once due to lack of funds.
I taught a Jpop singer how to sing Carpenters songs. Again, despite my imperfect fluency in this language, I can still get work with native Japanese speakers and communicate well enough to convince them that I can teach them.
I forced myself to master speaking on the phone in Japanese. I got a small job working for an American paragliding company. It was something like an internship for a few weeks but that helped me to get more practice speaking.
I’m proud that I learned how to teach Phonics ESL starting from the Shuf*notomo school which I was crying and fretting over to quickly mastering. It was so much like a flashback to 1st year of teaching which was resolved 10x quicker than that period of student teaching, which took almost 5 months to master.
I’m happy I got to visit parts of Japan that I had not seen before: Nikko, Izumo, Izu Shimoda, Yamaguchi, Matsuyama, Sanrio Purolando (the Hello Kitty amusement park!).
I’m happy that my sister and mom and I survived one of the biggest typhoons in Osaka unscathed and that we had a relatively good time together.
I cut my hair short this year. Right before the great Osaka typhoon hit, me and my mom and sister were getting haircuts nonchalantly. A memorable day.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: I MADE NEW ART! A whole body of artwork to have a new show with! Woot Woot!
I started a Patreon page. www.patreon.com/marikopassion
I passed the JLPT N4. I’m studying for my N3. My Japanese level is pretty good. Good enough to get a job. I can chat with someone on a 5 hour continuous bus ride. I dated someone in Japanese, a few people actually. My mother refused to speak to me in Japanese on her recent Japan trip which was surprising because she had been writing me in Japanese for a few months before coming. I’m proud of the fact that I’ve been able to attain knowledge of my culture and language despite her lack of support.
Got my first Japanese only speaking job. Three of the bosses bullied me. I told the boss that got me the job, not the restaurant managers about the situation and filed a complaint. I don’t know where that is going to go as of now. I stood up for myself however and that is almost unheard of in Japan. I want to get another better Japanese speaking job, but I’m traumatized.
2018 ended on a great note. I hung out with a friend I hadn’t hung out with in over fifteen years. I took them to an Yebisu Garden tower restaurant where there is a lovely view, I knew because I used to work there. I rang the temple bell of the Good Luck Business Cat (Manneki Neko) and then went off to a club I randomly selected to go to til the morning hours. I met a nice Japanese/Korean guy and he was really young and sweet to me. It is very rare to find a Japanese guy who will let a female be female and actually pay for things, open doors and be nice. I go to clubs alone nowadays just assuming that I will probably go home alone because Japan has just been this way for me. We had good sex, fun with drugs and watched an Oiran movie on Netflix which is the subject of my recent artwork, and Oiran were the courtesans of Japan from 200 years ago. Every foreign country person including myself, wrongfully coining myself “urban geisha” didn’t know that it was the Oiran who were the real sex workers of Japan at the time. They were actually trafficked as children into a lifetime of brothel life but that is going to be the subject of my future art exhibition and artist talks. I ended 2018 with a Tantra client and that allowed me to create new artwork including a wedding to myself and my first kimono photoshoot of my adult life. I was able to travel out of Tokyo, including way down south to visit a cousin I hadn’t really hung out with before who is a monk and see a part of Japan that I hadn’t seen before. December was really the highlight of 2018, because of Tantra, which unlike sex work is not just work but my spirituality and my life force I was able to become more whole, make my client more whole and fill my soul not just in the moment but as I submit artwork and writing to exhibitions and develop work for the future it will fill me for years to come beyond 2018.
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