Barney LOVE , Free LOVE, Free Sex..YES, and!

I was recently featured in a VICE mag piece about the ex Barney dinosaur who is now a Tantrika…https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/…ns-a-tantric-sex-business?utm_source=vicefbus 

As a PS comment to this article published, the things that I mainly have a problem with is not that Barney has sex with clients, but that he does it without a condom and claims that it is for authentic Tantric energy purposes,which is not true. Also, even though I say that having sex with clients is an anomaly, it DOES happen for me in sessions where I feel totally connected with the God in front of me and we are exchanging genuine loving bliss, so intercourse, or anything often happens (within my own personal boundaries, which raw sex isn’t).   I didn’t read that Joyner made a distinction between the AGAPE LOVE energy exchanged when playing Barney with children and the EROS LOVE energy when in Tantra sessions, and because he never mentioned it, either it was edited out or it wasn’t an emphasis for him.  And if it wasn’t an emphasis then this would be suspect for me because we need to make a distinction between eros/physical adult energy with lovers and children.  I work with children as an English teacher teaching phonics and I work with the inner children of adults as a Tantra teacher, the energy changes once I put my hands on my clients body.  

I spent 7 years as an escort before I moved into Tantra. The difference for me in the organic versus the transactional is that escorts often do things because “it is part of the job” or “it is expected” or “for good reviews” NOT because they feel totally in love with you or flowing in union. This is not to say that escorts don’t have fun or love the sex for sex not just for money, but since I’ve done both, I can definitely speak on the fact that it is different. I do believe that David Joyner (former Barney) is both enjoying the sex and being spiritual with his clients, and I ALSO like to have these 2 things in my sessions.

I wrote the above in a Tokyo hobbyist board and quickly an escort got her g string up her neck and wrote this:

Don’t know much about Tantra, so I won’t be comparing the two, but I honestly believe that an escort’s feelings toward her work is usually more of a personal issue and has nothing to do with her clients most of time. If you’re an escort and you always have to force yourself to have sex with your clients, then there’s a high chance that you’re doing survival sex work and should try to solve the issue as soon as possible.

I’ve met and talked to escorts who’ve taken a break or have left the industry, and they never complained about the sex factor. It was either because of stigma, being outed by “friends” or family, a new job/career, or an insecure partner.

On the contrary, one of the biggest complaints I hear from escorts is that their vanilla partners (dates, friends with benefits, boyfriends, husbands) don’t treat them like their clients do, don’t eat them out like their clients do, or don’t fuck them like their clients do.. and I know that they don’t say it to look good in front of men because they are private SW-only accounts.

This last paragraph I just had to highlight because in all my years of activism and organizing sex workers from all over the world, I had never ever heard anything even close to what this woman just wrote!  But I just responded that it definitely depends on the provider.  “Here’s a good litmus test,”I told her,”Would you have sex with your clients for free? Most of the sex workers I know would never do such a thing, and a good amount of them don’t even have sex for free EVER.”  But it could just be me, and it could just be that I know a whole other universe of sex workers.  There are many universes after all!  Her paragraph seemed so out of the ball park from most of the guys that I have met as an escort and continue to meet as a Tantrika.  They come to us for guidance, not the other way around.  But again, I was on a Tokyo hobbyist board, one that I try to advertise on occasionally but never get any business on.  I don’t do well with this sector of men, and I didn’t even when I was an escort.  The escort accused me of whorearchy (whore hierarchy) and the men on the thread didn’t seem to understand organic sex versus transactional sex.  They couldn’t get their heads around this idea because a hobbyist is someone who has seen hundreds of prostitutes and had brag worthy sex with them FOR MONEY.  The idea of doing it any other way probably seems stupid, silly and a waste of time.  

Organic means that it grows naturally…like a flower in a garden. Transactional means I am paid to have sex. While I do not mean to offend any escorts by my words, I do know that most of the sex workers that I ever knew and do know would not have sex with their clients for free. I charge 50,000 yen for 2 hours of Tantra instruction which includes intimacy and body work and other spiritual/sexual practices. If I am feeling moved by the client in my body, mind and spirit then I will often go with the flow of my desire which varies from client to client. I am not paid for sex, I am paid to facilitate Tantra sessions which include bathing rituals, prostate/sacred spot massage, coaching on orgasm control, body rubs and coaching on how to have a fulfilling sex life. If we are flowing in a great session, I will have intercourse with you. I will kiss you. I will fall in love with you (within the container of the session). You will feel this love deeply and genuinely. Whatever sex acts that occur above and beyond the initial session are free, mutually beneficial. This feels better to most of my clients. I have no guarantees of DFK, BBJ or any menu items, it is strictly MMV and totally genuine, more like dating sex (no menu, no guarantees, no reviews). I know, it is the opposite of how hobbyists think in general but I’m able to get clients doing my Tantra coaching on a busy phone sex website next to providers doing all the nasty taboo things in their ads that I don’t do and I do what I do as I am doing now. With love, with trust and feeling of safety many things in sex and life are possible.  I always feel incredibly vulnerable posting my real thoughts in front of sex workers these days, since leaving sex work activism and the 5 years I’ve been a goddess, I’ve been through some interactions that have made me feel less than safe amongst current sex workers that I don’t know well.  But I know humans are humans beyond all of our identities and this is what Tantra has taught me…to dare to be authentically compassionate…to dare to drop the walls that seperate us….to dare to love….love oneself enough to be honest and work in a job where you set boundaries that can change over time.  You CAN be the sexual being who is paid or not that YOU are comfortable being without compromising.  There are men and women out there who are awaiting your touch and companionship and whatever else you offer.

When Theft of Services Equals Rape and When Reframing is Better than Blaming and Going Aileen Wuornos on a Motherfucker

Amidst the #metoo incidents of Hollywood sexual violence I am working as a Love goddess in Seattle, doing my best to fundraise some lost income and property that got stolen out of a car in Los Angeles because I was negligent. It’s my third time to work as a Tantra practitioner in Seattle, every time I have come, it’s been a great, profitable and life changing experience. And again it did not fail me. I was fortunate enough to see more clients in two weeks than I had the opportunity to see in Japan all year since, in Japan, I don’t get to have the same type of business model as I used to when I worked in the U.S so it is always a great opportunity to brush up my skills and work on lots of new seekers bodies. I’ve been working as a professional goddess for over four years now, evolved and inclusive of the seventeen years of total work history in the field of sexuality. 7 of these years I was an escort and a self proclaimed whore revolutionary sex worker activist. In the seven years that I worked, fought, spoke for and rallied with fellow sex workers I became immersed in the ideology and framework of the movement and it became the passion that woke me up in the morning and fueled me through the sometimes grueling and dangerous profession that I called my job. I have since then been extremely happy to have moved beyond all of it without entirely closing the door to how it formed me as the LOVE WORKER that writes this blog now. I tell my seekers that call my phone that Tantra is not just a catchphrase i put in my ad, and i that love is not just a euphemism for fuck or happy ending, i actually genuinely, spiritually, fully engage in LOVE MAKING and sharing with clients which usually does not include intercourse or any of the standard acronyms of prostitution that many men on Backpage might be familiar with (GFE, BBBJ, etc).  And amazing people pay me great money for it as well.  But, because of my vast history, i’m aware of what they might be referring to and can lovingly redirect them to a referral who would better serve their needs.

In order to book an appointment, I require a small deposit to show me that the seeker is serious. This time, upon suggestion from another sex worker, i try to use G**gleWallet to accept my deposit. I usually require just $50 which goes towards the session and I didn’t think twice when the client wanted to send $250 instead of $50. I get an email from G**gle that says,”$250 is being deposited into your bank account.” which means to me as a business owner that I can feel safe to facilitate a paid session.

I saw him the next morning and collected the balance in cash and proceeded to create my 2 hour of magic and love. There was nothing suspicious or ingenuine about this client, we had a beautiful session, I tapped into his God energy and everything ended in a beautiful way.

Sometime in the next day, I am checking my bank balance and realizing that the money hasn’t hit and then I call the company to check and see if there is a delay for some reason. Ggle tells me that the sender can actually cancel the payment even after the email that they sent me has been sent. They tell me that this service is not a safe way to collect money from strangers off the internet and that it should only be used for friends and family (as if friends and family never rip people off).

7 years of being a vengeful, righteous whore revolutionary rose up from the fire of my root to the top of my consciousness and i remembered all the times as a sex worker that i had been ripped off and shorted by escort clients. I was mostly surprised that i was being confronted with these feelings when the way that i had constructed my life, the decisions i made, the clients that i chose and who chose me, the work that i did, the vibration was supposed to be all different now. But, I had gotten ripped off in a similar way from a Tantra coaching client in May whom i had coached for several hours too long for no promised pay received. My live work roommate in Seattle had just talked to me about a time when she was working in New York City and a similar thing had happened and she had “felt raped’ and couldn’t work the rest of her tour because she just felt extremely depressed and violated. I had just read a blog by Lily Fury explaining why she had recently created a devastating fundraising fraud upon the sex worker community all in an attempt to get a bad client blacklisted for what she felt was rape and not theft of services. “he was a client who had shortchanged me (that is, had raped me) when I was desperate after just getting out of jail.” Sex workers and women in general have righteous anger and history about rape and sexual violence not being named for what it is and not being punished equally or justly, so it seems in retaliation to the systems that have failed and ignored them, many of them seem to have started using the words theft of services and rape interchangeably. Since leaving the sex worker rights movement about two years ago to focus on spiritual sexual self growth and other community frameworks, the thing that has stood out to me most, the thing that I was also guilty of was that self determined sex workers HATE being called victims, unless it is them doing the victim name calling on their own situations. (To be cont)

XBN radio conversation with Jill Brennaman

I was on XBN radio with SWOP-East’s Jill Brennaman…
The interview starts out slow, cuz I was stoned BUT also that Jill wasn’t asking any questions…so I was doing the uh, uh thing a lot. I make it up in the end tho, don’t worry, keep listening. 🙂

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/swopeast/2008/04/24/XBN-guest-Mariko-Passion

I’m sorry sir, you must have thought that GFE meant STD!

The GFE acronym in the escort world has come to be known as the “Girl Friend Experience” which is another one of those lovely ambiguous codes for one or many multiple sex acts that occur with prostitutes and their clients have sex for money but are trying to mask their real intentions by using codes like GFE, “full service” and more. Some of them are really explicit as seen in this email between potential client Lance and I, as he lays out all of his expectations for a 2 hour appointment for $500.

after I emailed him my standard discreet reply about how $500 includes a massage with a full service experience of some kind..LANCE: Let’s see Not interested in a massage… waste of time. Full service should include:

• GFE- Girlfriend Experience
• DFK- Deep French Kissing
• DATY- Dine at the Y
• BBBJTCIM- Bareback Blowjob to Completion In MouthMultiples ((he means I should allow him to cum several times for the price of once))
• Greek ((ANAL SEX…probably without a condom for Mr.Lance, but Greek itself just means Anal))

I think the above could interest me for a 2 hour appointment. Let me know if it scares you away.Thanks.  MP: i don’t exchange fluids with strangers.sorry.L: That’s cool. I was only able to find one luke warm review on TER. ((NOT TRUE! it’s a fucking 8/10, which is great, even though I hate the review system))  I guess Porn Star Experience(PSE) isn’t on the menu. Oh well good luck with business.MP: that’s EXACTLY it. That’s a great acronym. I’m going to write about it on a blog! Ha. How can you imagine that someone that you don’t know would allow you to cum in her mouth? Of course there are people that WILL always do it. But you aren’t monogamous to ME, as I am not to YOU, nor are we going to get tested together and stay monogamous…so essentially you are asking me to risk my life. It’s like playing russian roulette with semen. Are YOU willing to do that, if I give YOU $500? Okay, then if so, I will let you drink a vial of someone else’s semen and then we’ll be at an even risk.

L: How ironic you fuck for a living and paranoid about diseases?

I’ve heard everything. Take up a different line of work. Oh, with one review on TER and you sell pussy… give me a break. Business must be slow or not worth the price of admission.You have probably been out there a lot longer than your reviews. Under different identifications I guess. Reviews must be badddddddddd!!!!! You’re so special and want $500. I guess the piano lessons didn’t pay off. You keep your fluids and I’ll keep my $500.I could decontruct the power and race dynamics evident in his assumption that because I’m Asian and smarter than him, I must have taken piano lessons, because I “sell pussy” I should give him whatever the fuck he wants, “multiple” times, and kiss him with tongue after he fucks my ass without a condom and cums in my mouth! Yay! And the scary thing like the fucking rest of the pathetic hobbyists on review boards like The Erotic Review who only rank girls a 10 if they are “really bi”, kiss clients on the mouth and of course, my favorite “BBBJTCIM”- Bareback Blowjob to Completion In Mouth…just like you saw in the movies, boys!!Too many men think that the “PSE”-porn star experience that Lance was fantasizing about, is on the menu with their girlfriends, dates, and hired whores! But it’s NOT! And don’t be surprised or offended if it’s NOT! Be thankful that your whore is paranoid about diseases! The Erotic Review encourages the spread of STDs by creating a ranking system that essentially rewards you for putting yourself (as the receiver) at risk, and punishes you by allowing clients to rate you poorly for not participating in unsafe activities. And then we get attitudes like old Lance here, who seems to be completely surprised that sex workers could even possibly be paranoid about STD’s?  ((And if you dear reader are trying to look me up in these review boards to sabotage me, Mariko Passion is not my working girl name, silly trick..)) I determine what is on the menu, when and if I get together with you, I have a right to maintain my boundaries and make those explicit with you …OR NOT. So what, if I put a condom in my mouth and slide it on at the last minute without telling you??LESSON 1 for those of you that didn’t know:Sex workers create FANTASIES. Porn portrays sexual fantasy.  Fucking without a condom, is a FANTASY for most.  Even oral fucking.  And there is some debate in the porn industry right now about using the 30 day STD test as a substitute for condoms. If you assume that everything should be on on the menu because you have paid me, you will soon learn an expensive lesson.  And if you think that YOU run the show as the client…and I should have some sort of corporate customer service attitude about you always being right or something, then I have a big dildo waiting to stick in your ass.I just can’t help but think about the girl who will finally allow him to live out his fantasy. Optimistically, I’d like to think that most of the girls out there will just laugh at him. But we never know..It’s always assumed that someone will allow more than you always. This is where the strength of our movement is crucial and peer education and sex worker empowerment programs not prevention and pity programs are more effective than anything…I realize with men like Lance why sex workers ARE the leaders or potential leaders in HIV/STD prevention OR how they could potentially be the catalyst for male privilege, sexism and the spread of disease, even though the spreading of the disease will disproportionately fall on that of the sex worker and continue to uphold the same stigma of being disease vectors that we have been fighting since the beginning of this old profession.